None Of You Care Anyway

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Anam_Cara, May 3, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    I have been fighting this for weeks.. and no one here gives a damn.. my family doesnt give a damn... 90% of my so called friends dont so why do i bother? i just got out of the hospital, docs said NO stress so my family starts in the MINUTE i walk in the door driving me to suicidal thoughts again.. its like they're TRYING to push me to suicide.. all they ever talk about is THEIR problems.. and if they do acknowledge mine its to tell me how screwed up i am.. WELL NO WONDER THEY RAISED ME! if im screwed up they DID IT.. why im even bothering posting here no one cares..
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    why do you think we don't care? it seems like by insisting on this, you are trying to push people who might support you away.

    did the hospital set you up with any supports, like a crisis team or a social worker? i'm sure they'd want to help you as well. i remember what you posted before about your home situation, and i totally sympathize. they sound awful.

    would it help to write some more about your feelings, if not here, then on pen on paper just to get them out?
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Maybe your friends and family appear to not care. But the people here do care because each and everyone of us can relate to and understand the pain you are in. Please keep posting and sharing them. Even that in itself can help a little.
  4. emptytank

    emptytank Active Member

    You're right. We don't.
  5. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    I've learned that people DONT care, unless they want something from you.. then they're nice.. not saying HERE but in life that's all i get.. and emptytank reminds me yet again of what i already know.. people couldnt give a damn if i lived or died.. im words on a screen, nothing more... the hospital sent a social worker to talked to me, his words of wisdom "Wow you DO have stress" no solutions on how to remedy the situation, no help beyond ordering me xanax. wow that's a big help... sedate me so i dont give a damn then when it wears off the problems are STILL wasting my time even posting here.. none of you know me and honestly wouldnt shed a tears in the event of my death. ive realized this weekend that i do not matter to others, i am simply a joke to them.. family's best solution was "hard work" stops depression.. bullshit... ive worked hard in my jobs and it never did a damn thing to make me better it made it worse..

    life is nothing but a big joke for me. and emptytank has driven the point home again no one cares.
  6. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Do yuo care about someone in the street if you see he is in trouble? I know you do. As we all do. And we all care about you, and about everyone here. But I am so sorry that we can not help you to solve your problems. The only thing we can offer here is a place to vent, to share your feelings and problems and to not be judged about that, but we can not solve your problems. I wish to solve them, not just yours, but everyones problems here. But I cant solve my problems, so how can I help to the others? Im so sorry...
  7. jlc20m

    jlc20m Well-Known Member

    I agree!!! We do care or else we wouldn't be here. Speaking for myself, all I can offer is support, acceptance of you and your problems, and an ear when you need to share what is bothering you. I guess it's up to all of us to find our own way to healing, but at least being here makes the journey less isolating. I know for me one of the major problems I have (next to all my problems, lol:wink:) is being very alone with what I'm feeling and going through. Being part of this community makes my life a little more bearable. I wish you find this, too...

  8. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    4 messages of support, and one jerk. try to not let emptytank's message distress you further.

    other than the one meeting with the social worker, what else is there? can you call the hotline? was there anyone at the hospital who treated you with kindess and respect? i am assuming you were there after an attempt, and that they knew you attempted, but is that correct?
  9. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I am reading your posts again today, and I saw that I have missed this sentence last night (well, I have an excuse, I was a little drunk, so I couldnt read and remember everything lol).
    And I must add this.
    I agree with this about the people. But they dont all act like that. In your real life, there are a lot people who are nice with you because they want something from you (i have experienced that, I have been in your situation many times, and i still am, and always will be there). But there is a small minority who can care about you without expecting anything in return. And about people here on SF, I can give you a waranty that 99% care about you and do not expect anything in return.
  10. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    *just cries* ive been back the hospital a second time collapsed outside and had to be taken by ambulance.. they just gave me more sedatives and sent me home.. thats all they did... i have in with my blood pressure sky high, heart wasnt beating right and i got a pat on the head hope you feel better then sent home to contemplate not waking up..

    my night got worse... the person i love threatened suicide, scared me into the worst panic attack ive EVER had to the point my heart almost stopped... i collapsed outside after the argument with her.. i called her local police department just to get them to talk to her nothing more just talk.. and she turned on me for f**king caring... says now she hates me i blew it with her because i called, i tried to save someones life whom i love and it all gets turned on me yet again... i really dont deserve to exist.. ive got two bottles im contemplating swallowing in the next few minutes..

    to those who did care enough thanks for trying,
    this is officially done for me, this life... i want to sleep and never wake up..
    dying in a pleasant dream of the one i love who now hates me for caring..
  11. Please, please put whatever you're thinking of swallowing away...The chances are greater that you'll only do yourself harm, with lasting, irreversible effects to your brain and/or your organs - and though it seems utterly inconceivable, feel even worse than you do now...:sad:

    As for your gf (I'm assuming), few are ever immediately grateful for can only know at this time that you did the very best you could - which is all any of us can do - and especially since you were already in your own sad state. At least try to keep your peace with this...

  12. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you did the right thing by calling, even though she is furious with you right now

    please be safe. call a hotline or take yourself to the hospital.
  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    did you tell them that you were seriously thinking of harming yourself? they are not mind readers. as much as it is painful to do so, you have to share what is in your heart. please get some help.
  14. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I do get something by helping you, I know there's another good person in the world who didn't die! If I did that enough my world would be great! And people here can't allways be around its true, but eventually someone will come, like on this thread look how much people came here! The possibilities are endless on SF! You can even vote for gummy bears in the presidential elections! WHERE ELSE CAN YOU VOTE CANDY FOR PRESIDENT! And your parents sound terrible, but it's not because they don't care they just don't believe in your pain, which is still horrible but it doesn't mean they wouldn't help you if they just got a grip. Don't forget they're still the people most likely to help you. Even if you hate them you should try to get them to help you in some way. Let's talk about it what would make you feel better about life and/or yourself?
  15. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    If anything else gone awry,there is one person who cares you.
    Who is this? YOU
  16. theothermask

    theothermask Member

    I am afraid I am in the same situation. Same type of family, threatment from others. Plus I dont live in USA, I've been trying to google some hotlines, but there arent anything for the age of me. Sometimes I just love my country.. If you actually did it and unsuccessfuly, and afterwards you read this - how old are you? I am 20, and I am starting to think that I am going same direction..
  17. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    i landed in the hospital last night before i could do anything, my blood pressure and anxiety level warranted a call to 911 and i ended up sedated for a massive anxiety attack and given blood pressure meds... my gf yes she was madder than hell at me for having called but we're on speaking terms today and things are healing... we have nights like that on occasion while working through issues, but we've always healed things and are working on that now.. i thank every who has been supportive for being here simply to listen... have too much stress on me and sometimes it just gets the better of me...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.