no reason to stay around just to please everyone....cuz no friends give a damn. college ended in april, graduated....and i feel even more alone, empty than i did during school - cuz now, none of my "friends" need help w/ cad or missed notes (that i typed out and sent out to all my classmates tri-weekly)...or help w/ learning or a sub on a team ....(not good enough b/c of my accidents - i was rear ended twice). any one ever call me? just to hang out or chill or go out for a coffee/come to a party? nope/ no need for makary, so lets all 4get his existance....even those 'friends' that dragged me to the college counsellor b/c i was very depressed/suicidal.....well u only wanted me to live b/c u needed something! yesterday was my birthday...id think some1 would remember - NOONE!...even on facebook 0/50ish friends remembered. so, with all my neck pain, now labelled as incurable/chronic by doc, sadness.....boredom, lack of enjoyement in anything.....if i solved my problems permanently, i wouldnt be upsetting anyone....none of my 'freinds' would even kno - as for family, well they say they understand my physical pain (i dont tell them anyhting about my emotional pains cuz they cant help and i dont want to worry them)...so im sure they'd understand if i just pulled the plug. i cant sleep ....insomnia? i stay up late till morning 4, 5am.....get up early 7am...few days later ...sleep in late till 4pm...../ jobless...had a future w/ the drafting company i worked for in coop, but b/c the eco is very down, they cannot hire me....(arch/constr) is really down in all surrounding cities - 40+ reusmes and the few responses i got - they cant hire due to poor economy reasons...not even the coop office has anything. so no job, pain = physical+emotional, sadness, emptyness, no going out with friends.....arghh wats the point? honestly....i feel like im losing what used to define me.....i just dont want to be here anymore.