They all say they will, but when i go off msn, and sf for about an hour, maybe two without saying goodbye to anyone, but some people who have my number, knowing i was in a suicidal mindset, noone texts to make sure im ok :/ You know, it just makes me think, i cld disappear for a day, they wldnt notice, a week, stil wouldn't notice. Maybe after a couple of months they might think, oh, someones missing. But they wouldn't really care or notice, or even know. It's not like anyone even cares, i'm questioning why I'm even writing. I feel like, i was walking along in the bright sunshine, enjoying life, things were going fairly well. And then i tripped and fell down this dark hole, and it's a long way down. And as i fell i tried to hold onto the branches, the hands of the few that cared about me, but i was forced to let go and so i fell. And now, i've hit rock bottom, and i am just trying to work out how to climb back up again, when all the branches are gone. I can see a pinprick of light above me, i'm sure there's hope, if only i could gt up there. I don't think anyone really cares, and i don't think i can get out this hole. I don't really want to live anymore. :/ I think i might aswell jus do it, quit thinking about it and take action. I'm so sick of life...my family who don't seem to think that my happiness matters at all...it's always what they want, and i don't get a say in any of it. And recently my 'gift' has been driving me insane. Like i just cant frigging cope with it anymore. And im going crazy being stuck indoors all the time. Cos i don't have money to get out, or friends to go to cos all my mate get to go on vacation. And i haven't been able to sleep properly recently. My sleep pattern is messed up and i aint getting enough which is making me irritable, and ill, and giving me headaches. And if i do sleep i am continuously awoken by nightmares I just want it all to end. Meh, everything sucks and i'm sick of trying.