normal or not?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by spiritxfade, Jul 6, 2010.

  1. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    I've never had any kind of romantic feelings for anyone, male or female
    Never been in a relationship. Never interested. I'm a teenager and some of my friends are boy crazy. All of my friends have either been in a relationship or have had a crush. Hell, everyone I know who is my age has had a crush before. A friend asked if I were asexual. That brings the question....

    What is it like to be interested in someone romantically or find someone attractive?
    How do people know what orientation they are?

    Maybe these questions can't be answered. That's fine too.
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I didn't really think anything of my sexual orientation until maybe fairly recently. I'd grown up with quite a few girl friends but not really mixing with any guys. But I have a few guy friends now considering I'm in highschool now and it would seem a bit weird to have all girl friends. I'm gay because I'm only acttracted to guys, both emotionally and physically. And nothing but friends from the women :tongue:.

    What's it like to be romantically attracted etc to someone?...Hmmm...well it feels good I guess? Like you really like the person. Someone you could possibly share your troubles with etc. Though with me I tend to just shove all that under the rug at this point in time. I'd imagine it would be great being in a relationship, but I'd have to sort a few things out before that happens :biggrin:.
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    There really isn't a right or wrong, or normal and abnormal here, really. Everyone has their own normal. So, just go with what you want and are comfortable with. It'll eventually come to you what is right for you. Unless you are asexual (which there is nothing wrong with either), try not to pressure yourself though. Everyone is different... Try not to worry too much. :hug:
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    To be honest I was not really attracted to anyone till I was almost out of high school. I just had better things to do with my time I guess. If females made a pass at me I could not tell.

    Do not think too much about it hun. Attraction is a curse, in my opinion, I wish I could go back to not caring.
  5. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hey there..
    I think its perfectly normal..
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you dont partiularly 'fancy' any type of person.. or even none at all..
    As others have suggested.. try not to worry about it too much.. im sure with time you will come to realise what attracts you to someone else.. Just dont put too much pressure on yourself..
    Take care x
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I would disagree with that it's normal, because I really don't think it is.

    It's not something to really worry about or trouble yourself with, though.
  7. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    You're still a teenager. Give it time, you'll know. Stop comparing yourself to your friends.
  8. KirthGersen

    KirthGersen Account Closed

    steam is right: it is abnormal, although it may be nothing to worry about. You are as you are.
  9. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    It is NOT abnormal, and do not let anyone tell you that you are abnormal like some kind of fruitcake space monkey. Some people grow slower than others in this field, especially when they haven't grown yet, because they haven't yet had an encounter where they feel they're attracted to another person. You'll know when you're feeling into someone. Some people are just late bloomers and it has nothing to do with an abnormality, especially in adolescence.
  10. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Considering your age, I do not think it is abnormal, because you have yet to discover who you are. There are two different types of attraction in my book. Sexual, and emotional. Sexual is usually when you are drawn towards someone pretty or attractive. You feel the effects come upon your senses and it becomes a need really. It is built into all of us in order for the human race to survive. Emotional is when you like people and are drawn to their personalities. Crushes can go either way. People tend to be attracted with both sexes in an emotional way, but it can quicky turn to sexual if they allow it to. If you think about it, being sexual with someone brings you closer to them than any other way. I tried to be bisexual out of desperation of being loved and wanted. My lonliness drove me to look for love anywhere I could find it. The love I found that I personally needed and yearned for can only be found in Yahweh, and he helped me learn to love mysef and then to love others. That is me though to each their own. Blessings..
  11. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    What is it like?Consider yourself lucky.Trade spots any day.Teenage relationships are emotional dead ends.

    It is NOT normal.

    If you walked up to ten people and asked them if it was normal all ten would probably say it isn't normal.

    Here's my example::::

    Very little people have had no romantic feeling while Being a teen.

    (bare with my example) Very little people are Hermaphrodites.<I have never heard that Being normal.

    Is it normal?NO.Should you care?No.
  12. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Well of the ten people who responded, 50 percent say it's not abnormal. It's actually somewhat common for adolescents to experience confusion about their sexual orientation... And of course the OP cares, or else the question would not have been asked here.
  13. KirthGersen

    KirthGersen Account Closed

    "Asexuality (also known as nonsexuality[1]), in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction (i.e., a lack of a sexual orientation)[2][3] or the lack of interest and desire for sex.[4][5] One commonly cited study placed the incidence rate of asexuality at 1%.[6]"

    The vast majority of teens and adults experience sexual urges, feelings of attraction, etc. A complete lack of such impulses is unquestionably abnormal.

    But, again, it's not necessarily bad. Confusion about sexual orientation, for example, may be a natural part of growth towards a realization that one is gay-- and during that time the conflict may result in a lack of conscious attraction to anyone. Depression, IIRC, can also either decrease or increase sexual urges-- and look where we are. :)
  14. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    How old are you exactly, OP?
    I didn't start feeling sexual attractions towards others until I was well past my 18th birthday, and that was only because I was in a relationship with someone that I loved. Since we've broken up, those thoughts have pretty much backed off again and I hardly ever think about it anymore.

    I personally have no right or standing to say whether it's normal or abnormal. I don't think there is a normal or abnormal when it comes to ones sexual attractions or preferences, everyone is different, but I think you shouldn't worry too much. You are who you are and if it never comes to you, so be it, and if it does, maybe it's just not the right time yet. My advice would be to carry on being yourself and wait and see what, if anything, happens. You're still you.
  15. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I think it's perfectly normal. Like someone else said, everyone is different. *shrugs*
  16. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    It may not be normal but there's certainly nothing wrong with it!
  17. Things

    Things Well-Known Member


    I'm going through the same exact thing. I try not to worry about it, but I still hate being unsure.

    There's this site about asexuality and it has forums, maybe you can find support there if you need it. Or just learn more about it:
  18. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys. I've thought about what you us have said and I realise that while I have no interest in sex at all I do believe I'm capable of falling in love (at least I hope that my latter statement is true). Ill wait and see how things like relationships turn out, I guess
  19. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    You can always talk to a doctor if u feel like its a huge concern or is bothering you a lot. But to be honest like other have said I wouldnt worry to much about it.