So today hasn't picked up as I hoped it would. I feel worse than ever, my body feels heavy like I'm dragging it around the house. I'm tired and want to sleep or curl up and cry. I know that doesn't solve anything but it feels right. I had a few good days and don't understand why I've been dragged back down. I'm lying in bed with the kids playing around the house. The weather is lovely and I haven't been able to go out. I just can't. I phoned my husband in tears, now I feel guilty as he is at work and blame myself even more for his affair and my inadequacy. Why do we suffer so?