Not a normal suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Diseased88, Mar 30, 2007.

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  1. Diseased88

    Diseased88 Active Member

    Hi, i just signed on this because i wanted to talk this over with someone, and get feedback. ill cut right to the chase.

    I am suicidal, but i am NOT depressed, life is very hectic and uneasy at times, and it can get me down, but i do not want to kill myself to end any kind of pain or anything. I dont even want to kill myself right now. I am planning on a more long term solution.

    When i get older, i feel i have learned all i can from this life, and no longer wish to deal with the drudgeries of this life. I want to be able to decide when I want to die.

    Is this wrong? its not a deffinite plan, but i deffinitly want to be the author of my own demise. I dont want some illness or crash to kill me. I know this sounds crazy, but i feel strongly about a persons right to die, and while i dont think anyone should kill themselves out of despair, i do think that given enough time to enjoy life a person should be able to, upon much reflection, decide when to die.

    idk, thoughts?
  2. Drug is the love. Pills, man. Pills.

    Hey, man. <Mod Edit: Abacus21-encouraging> You want to slit your own throat in a motel bathroom? Fine by me. I'd caution you, though, the cops dont' share your sentiment about the right to die. To them a failed suicide is attempted murder, and you don't want to spend 25 years in prison, do you? To be stabbed with a sharpened broom handle by some Mexican in for breaking and entering? <mod edit:shygirl no suicidal advice please>
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2007
  3. Diseased, you say that your life gets hectic and uneasy at times? Perhaps your desire to control your death comes from a desire to control your life?

    I'm probably way off, but that was just the feeling I got from your post. You talk about the drudgeries of life, perhaps you have lost the excitement/joy from your life and need a change (career, environment etc)?
  4. Bluerogue

    Bluerogue Member

    I am right with you on this....

    I posted a thread 'An Honest discussion" about almost the same thing.

    I have to say after doing some research the only thing that is holding me back is the impact it will have on others.

    Check out some of the survivor forums here and elsewhere. It will really have an impact on anyone who knows you. I feel you should take that into consideration.

    I am in a run out the clock mode right now...... I don't let anyone new really near me and I let my old friendships fade. Once I am isolated enough and I am sure no one will get hurt then it will be time to act.

    So yeah, there are others who feel like you do.
  5. hecte

    hecte Active Member

    Wrong, Commiting suicide is not against the law in most states. In states where it is against the law you wont go to prison instead they put you in a halfway house and give you anti deppressants untill you improve. assisted suicide however is against the law any doctor that practices assited suicide can be fined or given a jail sentence.
  6. Bluerogue

    Bluerogue Member

    I looked into this and I found that in some states it IS against the law but more for insurance reasons (they don't need to pay if you die while commiting a crime or such sillyness).

    Most insurance policys will pay regardless if you commit suicide and have had the life insurance policy for 2+ years. :biggrin:
  7. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    Hey Eddie what country do you live, where suicide is illegal?

    Canada has no such laws, so I am glad not to live in the same country as you.

    ~Bono the uppity Canadian, with a floppy head and beady little eyes
  8. Diseased88

    Diseased88 Active Member

    life is exciting, but insanely predictable, to quote the Bible there is "nothing new under the sun" and to paraphrase Marcus Aurelius "a person 100 years ago lived the same life as you, and a person 100 years from now will live the same life as you, and a person who is 40 has seen everything there is need to see" but a definite A+ for the controlling part...

    fear is a mindkiller, but you cant guilt trip me or scare me into believing or behaving a certain way. Leave that for the government/religious authorities...

    Life is great, and people who are suicidal are, for the most part, in a bad way and need some kind of healthy coping mechanism. I used to want to end my life (no serious attempts) but i have passed that part in my life.

    We only get one shot to live, but i've seen the ravages of time, and for the elderly the only "cure" is death.

    Maybe my plans will change, this isnt a set deal, but, as it stands, i would like to control how i die. I didnt get to choose birth or familial circumstances, i should at least get to choose how i die (of course, noone really knows how and when they will die.

    The impact of others is very strong indeed, and I would never want to hurt any family members, but, everyone has to die, and i figure killing yourself when you are ready and satisfied (or bored, as i mistakenly implied) with life would be the wisest choice.

    I also fancy myself a [pseudo]philoshopher, and whilst i embrace Stoicism as my "main" philosophy, i cant help but find myself drifting and analyzing and thinking about the uselessness of life, and such, but thats a different topic.

    I am going to check your thread out, and reply in it (so long as it wont be necro'ed.
  9. LaLaLullaby

    LaLaLullaby Well-Known Member

    You will never believe me, but I feel the same way.
    I have everything going for me. I have a scholarship to college, everyone loves me, I'm doing great in every single way.
    I simply want to die and I do think it's our right to choose.
    I was told it was 'teen angst'. Maybe.
    However...I haven't thought of a way to lessen the external consequences when I do go. That's what stops me.
    I think it's beautiful to control your own death. I think it's the best way to go...I really do support suicide when it's done voluntarily and not when one feels forced into it by whatever.
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