Not Afraid Of Death

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by akjack, Jun 13, 2010.

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  1. akjack

    akjack Member

    I've been thinking about death a lot lately and I have come to the conclusion that I should not be scared. If you look at death from a different perspective, then you realize that we have all been dead before.

    When you die your consciousness ends. But if you think about it you had no consciousness before you were born, so it was like you were dead before you were alive. When I think about it this way death doesn't seem so scary because for me I've been dead before and it wasn't too bad.

    I had a dream last night. I was running away from people when I ducked into a bathroom to hide. I looked down at my hand and there was a gun. I put the gun to the side of my temple and pulled the trigger. Oddly enough I did not wake up but the dream continued. After I shot myself everything started to slow down. As I was falling to the ground everything around me was in slow motion except my thoughts.

    I'm thinking about ending it all. I look at my life and it seems that there's really nothing left to live for. I'm sure my problems fail in comparison to somebody in Ethiopia starving, yet ironically, I seem to have less of a instinct to survive. If I do kill myself I will fade into nothingness and everything will be the way it was before I was born. The universe has been in existence for 13. 7 billion years. Who gives a shit how I spend my life. Living, dieing, loving, fucking, fighting....who cares.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Yeah I kind of think of death as the next phase a person takes. Before you are born, you are alive. Not in the same sense as you are now but alive none the less. So I figure death is another phase. We will still be alive but in a completely different way. And better or worse than it is now, wont matter at all to me. It's a new "life" that will end all the shit in this one.

    You can believe me or not, but I care about how you are spending your life. I may not know you, but I do know your struggle. I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. There is no comparison when it comes to problems or pain. If it is affecting you, then it is just as important as the person that is starving. See the problem is that everyone knows about and understands the person that is starving. Not too many people, I'm sure in your life really know how you're struggling and they certainly wouldnt understand.

    Keep posting. It does help to get it out and know that others that understand are reading what you have to say. Keep posting and let us see how we might be able to help and support you through this :arms:
  3. akjack

    akjack Member

    I don't see death as, "The next phase" as you describe. I'm an atheist so I see death more as a natural phenomenon rather than something deeper. I was brought into this world against my will. No one asked me if I wanted to live. If somehow had the choice to stay unexisted (not a word, I know) before I was born I would choose not to be born.

    I really don't see the point of living. I really don't. I don't think its depression as much as some form of existential nihilism. If someone here could change my mind then that would be great but honestly I don't see the point. I don't see the difference between dieing at age 80 in your sleep or at age 18 with a revolver stuck in your mouth. It's only a difference of 62 years (which is infinitesimal compared to the age of the universe, planet, or even our own species).
  4. despairguy

    despairguy Active Member

    You say u r not afraid of death, but ironically u didn't say exactly why.
    Some say that is not death what ppl are afraid of, it's dying which make the whole experience so terrible. Personally, I don't mind experiencing a painful deathm I actually think that I really deserve to suffer some extreme pain, at least I'll feel alive from one last time before I'm gone ^^
    Now I'm gonna put it in other way: death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.... so technically we are all dead already.

    I don't intend to change ur mind with this, I just wanna give u some other perspective to think about... that's it, bye!
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