I've been thinking about death a lot lately and I have come to the conclusion that I should not be scared. If you look at death from a different perspective, then you realize that we have all been dead before. When you die your consciousness ends. But if you think about it you had no consciousness before you were born, so it was like you were dead before you were alive. When I think about it this way death doesn't seem so scary because for me I've been dead before and it wasn't too bad. I had a dream last night. I was running away from people when I ducked into a bathroom to hide. I looked down at my hand and there was a gun. I put the gun to the side of my temple and pulled the trigger. Oddly enough I did not wake up but the dream continued. After I shot myself everything started to slow down. As I was falling to the ground everything around me was in slow motion except my thoughts. I'm thinking about ending it all. I look at my life and it seems that there's really nothing left to live for. I'm sure my problems fail in comparison to somebody in Ethiopia starving, yet ironically, I seem to have less of a instinct to survive. If I do kill myself I will fade into nothingness and everything will be the way it was before I was born. The universe has been in existence for 13. 7 billion years. Who gives a shit how I spend my life. Living, dieing, loving, fucking, fighting....who cares.