Not again...i guess the period of me feeling fine for once has ended

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by happypeople, Nov 17, 2007.

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  1. happypeople

    happypeople Active Member

    The last week ive started feeling fine again...almost happy, well that ended tonight, i started to feel "down" again, but a much worse version of that.

    i dont know wut im gonna do with life, im stuck doing nothing for the past few years and i dont want to do anything, i dont see why any female would want to do anything with me in the situation im in.

    why cant i be like everyone else, being happy with the simple things in life, i dont know wut the hell im searching for that would make me happy and give some sort of meaning to my life.

    ive been asking people i know wut makes them happy in life, and its nothing special, they all tell me the usual things that most of the population does. i cant deal with this anymore. i dont wanna live, dont have the balls to kill myself, im living in the middle somewhere, some other reality. i dont feel like im part of the population, i feel like im a stranger walking around, everyone looks the same.

    i feel like giving up, but i dont know how, wut am i gonna do, i cant kill myself, i dont think i can do it. im stuck somewhere inbetween real life and my life. im just sitting here now and i dont have a fuckin clue wut to do. i feel like im just going to explode. im definetly gonna drink today, it always makes me forget my problems or atleast dulls them down. i think id be one of the only people who would be happy to see an asteroid heading for earth.
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sorry sweetie, but I have to disagree. There would be a long line of others standing right there with you waiting for that asteroid to hit. I suffer severe depression so I know exactly the pain you're feeling. I hate never being capable of being happy and resent those that can. If you want to vent PM me.
     
  3. alwaysincrisis

    alwaysincrisis Well-Known Member

    Hi I just joined today.....I have a great life on the surface; a good job, loving family, supportive friends, no debts (bankrupt back in February) but suicide has lived with me daily since teenage years. This may sound weird but it's knowing that I can die that has kept me alive so far. Going through a bad time this week........
     
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