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not again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by missykate, Nov 4, 2008.

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  1. missykate

    missykate Well-Known Member

    I have been managing for a bit but I think I have been mostly numb to everything. Not anymore. Things are becoming worse and I am back to where I was. I have been thinking about suicide for so long that you think it would get old or something. I never thought I would think about it again after my attempt. The thing is I know I don't want to die so I fight it for all I am worth. I still have hope that things might get better one day but I find it is a thought I keep having over and over and would rather falling asleep forever or something equally as passive. I am having a hard time saying exactly what I feel but I hope this at least gives a small picture of what is happening. My best friend doesn't understand and tries to encourage me to stop taking my pills and I don't want to be taking them in the first place so I have to try and listen to my doctor. My other close friend has her own problems and doesn't understand how to support me. I used to trust her but then everything exploded and I don't trust her as much any more. Another bad experience to live through. Sorry I'm rambling. I am not sure where I am going with this. I guess I am just hoping for some support for you guys. I hate feeling like this. Like a waste of life. I have been having flashbacks all day. I hope things don't get worse I don't think I could take it. I doesn't sound like there is much going on but there really is more then I can but in a post.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi missykate, sorry you're feeling so down at the moment. I don't think that suicide is the answer that you're looking for. It will only end your life prematurely and leave your loved ones suffering. Do you have any family members or close friends that you would feel comfortable talking to? I hope things get better. :hug:
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You say you want to fight...good for you...living life is the hardest thing we are going to have to do..fight hard: counseling, medication, sharing, self-affirming...anything it takes for you to know how worthy you are...big hugs and caring thoughts, J
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Kate,
    Life is tricky and alot of us get off the path and find ourselves in despair. Depression sucks. If you do nothing else please find a good therapist to help you to learn to cope with life experiences.
    I think you know you made a right move coming to the forum. You will get support from all of us. I would say just about all of us either have suicidal thoughts, and then there are others who are just suffering from major depression.
    Please seek out a therapist because in my book they help more than anything else. Take Care and Stay Strong!!~Joseph~
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