not again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by crookxshanks, Feb 11, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i swear i dont even matter to anyone. its not like anyone gives a damn about me at the moment. they just expect me to cope with everything and leave it at that. but i cant do it. i just cant. people are pushing me further and further to the edge. its just like they want to watch me suffer. normally i just cant do it because i dont want to hurt those i love but its those that i love that are pushing me to the edge

    :cry: i dont matter to anyone at the moment :cry:
  2. diafwcc

    diafwcc Member

    You matter to me crook.:hug: Tell me what's going on. Who is pushing you so far that they are making you feel miserable?
  3. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i dont matter to anyone. no one gives a damn about how im feeling really. if they did then i wouldnt be so aline in everything that i have to cope with. there would be someone. some shoulder. but theres not. and so i just want to curl up and die

    i cant even see computer screen properly for all tears am crying
  4. diafwcc

    diafwcc Member

    I'm sorry that you're feeling so down, but you're not completely alone, SF is always here for you. The urge to just curl up and melt away in front of extreme adversity can be overwhelming... we all have the strength in us to stand up and resist that pull, though. Sometimes all you need is something to cling to, a little time to rest (literally sometimes, a good night's sleep can do wonders for the mood), until the worst of it is over. Bad luck always comes paired with good, it's the karmic nature of the universe to balance itself (over time).

    My PM box is open to you if you want to vent anonymously
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey mand you mean something to me!!! You are my friend and there is no swaying that!! I am here for you and I have big shoulders so lean on me and lets work this out!!! Your the greatest!!!~Joseph~
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    well said joseph.

    hun we spoke on the phone so i will just repeat that you are an amazing woman and you mean more to people than you realise.
    even to two shaved headed yobs like me and joseph.

    take care

    andy x
  7. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    thank you for the replies. they do mean a lot
    just cant help feeling this way. its hurting me through and through :cry:
    just hate feeling like people are trying to tear me apart
  8. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Mand, I am soooo sorry I haven't replied to this sooner :( I just got out of the hospital, been there since saturday night but, I'm home now and here if you want me!

    You matter to me, I think you are amazing :)

    Lea :arms:
  9. cinZamurai

    cinZamurai Well-Known Member

    I´m sorry mate :(

    You matter to me as well. Sometimes I just feel like im not enough but I do care!
    Your boy was having a hard time and I told you to support him but I failed to see that you needed someone to support you even more. And I am sorry about that, I should have known.

    I am glad Andy could help you out he is a great guy :smile:
    Keep fighting the good fight my friend I hear you and I do care about you!
  10. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member


    From everything I know, you seem like a swell person :hug:


  11. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :hug: huni you know if i could i'd take it all away
  12. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i just want to isolate myself. go back to being my normal reclusive self
    but no one will even let me do that
    its just one thing after another that i cant cope with
    i really just want to curl up and stop breathing :cry:
    really feels like someone has something against me for me to be going through all of this
  13. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

  14. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    You do matter hun :hug:

    If you ever want to talk then PM me.

    Claire xx
  15. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    i know this is a really hard time for you hun but you have to persevere. those who love you will understand if you shrink back into your shell a bit, but you have to keep open enough for them to help you. sometimes it can be hard for those around you to know what to do, but they DO care about you hun! :hug: and so do i, and everyone here :heart: okay :smile:
    keep up the posting, it can help.
    sorry i can't be there for you as much as i'd like but i'll try and get on here as much as possible.
    stay safe :hug:
    and eat something! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  16. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Please don't think that noone cares though. You certainly have people who care here at the forum. Love and best wishes. Simon.
  17. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i just read this. you're a wonderful person.

    your feelings of isolation is terrible, and i know that feeling well.

    i know i haven't been of much support today for my own personal reasons, but i do hope you know i care. i care that you hurt and i care that you're going through so much and from what you've told me, it's completely understandable you feel the way you do.

    if you want isolation maybe that's something inside of you that perhaps needs a break from everything you're going through.

    don't take everything on your shoulders. try and remember you come first. i'd care if you died.

    who is trying to tear you apart? would you like to talk about that more here?
  18. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    and if you feel people are pushing you to the edge. try and speak out and say no, and get away from me kind of thing. stand your ground, say you won't be pushed to the edge because you are an important person and you come first that anyone who takes advantage of your kindness and empathy.
  19. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    was naively hoping that if i went to sleep i wouldnt wake up without having tried anything but have
    have to see therapist today. dont want to go in case made worse
    all people keep saying is do whats good for me.. well right now whats good for is hiding away from the world and dealing with everything on my own.. but no. seems that that is too much to ask
    only thing that is keeping me being about is here and even being here im all shaky
  20. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hun, if you feel that isolating yourself is best for you then ok, i respect that even if i dont agree totally.
    i understand that you are scared hun so you do what you feel is right then look at things again when you are in a better place.

    andy x
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.