Not Again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Dec 5, 2009.

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  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I'm suicidal again.

    I went out last night, the night started out well. Okay even then I bumped into two old friends who I REALLY did not want to see.

    I was with Simon (the guy I am sleeping with), I asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend, which he did. But that just made things worse because I felt so pathetic afterwards.
    I then got really drunk and we slept together, which was awful. There was a part during it while I actually thought I was going to cry.

    Now those stupid girls are going to call me and now Simon thinks I am a complete retard if he looked at me and saw me welling up.

    Work is going horribly again, I can't deal with it and I just want to quit.
    I want to run away.

    Everything is falling to pieces again and I am not coping. Everything is just going back to how it once was, me being a drunken lying ***** with shitty or no friends who lives a pathetic existence.

    It's too hard, all of this is too hard. I don't know what to do, how to change things or how to get out.

    God I fucking hate this. :( :( :(
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  3. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    I understand Patsy.

    Tough times come around and knock you off your feet - its horrible.

    One minute you think "ok i can survive" and the next minute you down and cant get up again.

    A similar situation happened me, i ran into an old friend who i didnt wanna see, i ended up giving her my number but she didnt call or text, i was relieved but then upset cause i realised she probably felt the same way as me and was only being polite asking for my number. What im trying to say is, your friends may not contact you so dont stress and if they do, can you ignore them.

    you dont have a pathetic existence, you help people so much on here, i personally believe i met a true friend, i think your class!!! Patsy and Eddie 4ever!!!

    As for Simon, the guy probably wouldnt notice a bomb going off outside if you wer the middle of something :). And if he noticed your expression, being a guy, he prob thought it was just another sex face. You say your just sleeping with him, but booty calls dont usually go out with each other. How do you feel about him? He is super tall so he gets my vote :)

    Everytime you feel shit, email me!!! Do something productive so your not dwelling on the negative.

    As for work, it may be shit and i know your not getting paid, but it could lead to something down the line, either cause of the experience your getting or though the contacts you have met and will meet.


  4. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. Life's tough. Hang in here :hugtackles:
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I wouldn't worry about your exfriends.. Right now you need to focus on you..If they get to nosey just tell them you two don't live together ..Leave it at that.. You don't have to explain your sex life to anyone.. As far as work goes I agree with the op who said that your experience could one day land you a promotion..Try to hang in there because there just aren't any jobs to be had..Take care!!
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