well everyone. after a couple of weeks of feeling ok, my mood has slumped. feeling quite shit today. not good. I get a bit concerned ay times, due to the sheer amount of time i have been suffering from this affliction i have learnt a lot about coping strategies. I have also learnt a lot about ending my life. after 6 failed attempts i decided to find out what i was doing wrong and how i could succeed. i try to be good at everything i do, bit of ocd i guess. i'm a bit of a perfectionist. well anyway i found a method of ending my life, the ultimate way i guess. the way we all want to go. very very fast. absolutely no pain or suffering. Iironically i had all the equipment to make my exit from this life already!!! I still do have it. that is what is worrying me. A couple of beers too many, crap feeling, a spontaneous person=exit. no coming back from it. absoluely no chance of being saved. a definate one way ticket.