Not coping

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by RainbowChaser, Apr 21, 2007.

  1. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I can't cope with it. A whole weekend before I can get any sort of help, and I can't even make it that long. In the last week I've had more episodes than in the rest of my life put together. I've imagined a phone call which led me to believe that a member wanted me to die. I've eaten a chocolate bar with the wrapper on. I've had flashbacks. I've scratched my whole body for a continuous half hour, and messed up my good knee with it. I've put on new socks today that I don't remember buying - I'm sure I went straight from the changing rooms with the bikini to the till, and not via the other end of the store. I'm not entirely sure how I've got this bruise on my hip, but I've got this feeling that it's got something to do with the whole hour I can't remember this morning.

    I'm scared. I'm scared of everything around me. I'm scared of me. I'm scared of what you guys think of me for all this (especially as most of you prize the member I hurt more than anyone would ever prize me). I'm scared because I don't know how to control this. I'm scared because I don't know what's gonna happen next.

    I want to stop the fear, and unless Monday comes very quickly (or more likely Tuesday considering the way my GP works), I only know one way to stop it.

    I can't hang on like this. Problem is, I can't tell anyone that either...
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Aw Sammie. :( I feel so hopeless to see you struggling so much and I truly wish there is something I can do for you. The fact that you realise you need to see someone is great and it may seem a long time away until Monday but it's not. Really, it isn't. Please hang on in there for Monday morning and make that emergency appointment, it WILL help you, and you will benefit and I don't like seeing you like this. In the meantime, please don't hesitate to phone crisis lines such as The Samaritans and you've got my number, you're welcome to phone/text me anytime, and I mean that. Please take care of yourself. :hug:
  3. I know this probably sounds stupid and obvious from my end but do you have any family or close friends you can trust? i find talking with someone i know cares is usually the best thing to keep me going when i cant go on.

    All i think of you is that your suffering and need help and i hope you get it.
    Just do your best to try and relax and not think too much about anything, if you have anything that you enjoy doing which can take your mind off things try and do it.

    You can tell people, surely theres someone or somewhere you can call, I cant speak for everyone on SF but from what ive seen its far more important for them to try and help people then hold grudges and judge

    Hope your safe, and i hope you can hold on
  4. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    The last time I told someone in my family about feeling like this all I got were the "Don't be so stupid" responses. And unfortunatly my friends are too far away to help me :sad:
  5. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    im srry but im here if u need to talk
  6. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :hug: I'm here if you'd like to talk.
  7. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys, I need to keep talking to keep me sane atm :hug:
  8. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    You can always PM me. :hug: I hope you can get through this.

    I don't know which member you 'hurt', but I value you muchly, and I've miss you if you left for any reason :sad:. x
  9. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    remember what I said yesterday. That still goes and will go in the future as well. You got my email and msn and skype and PM here. Anytime hun :hug:
  10. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Thank you :cry:
  11. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I hope so to, but it feels like my brain's melting away :cry:
  12. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Ohhh sweetheart :hug:

    I'm really sorry :sad:.

    Just stay with us and keep talking. We are here for you! :arms:

    x x x
  13. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    no I won't let it melt away. I'm gonna keep you occupied. Talk to meeeee
  14. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    It's gone, all mushy. I can't concentrate like this. I'm scared. Won't move yet, I'm safe here at the comp.
  15. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry :blub:
  16. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    don't be sorry hun :hug:

    Talk to us :cheekkiss
  17. Pneuma

    Pneuma Guest

    Oh, I'm so worried for you...

    Hope you pull through
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2007
  18. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I'm going to the doctors about it soon... *starts praying*
  19. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    that's good. :smile:
    They might be able to help somewhat. :arms:

    you can always email me hun :hug:
  20. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    He said he couldn't help me... :blub: