i feel and look hideous, everythings wrong. i wish i wasn't being bullied by my manager, i wish i could do something, i wish someone would listen to me, take me seriously. i thought i was coping with all this shit, but i'm clearly not. it's pathetic how this has just brought up so many bad memories, i cant even walk round with my head up anymore because i feel ashamed and embarassed and worthless. maybe if i had some self-esteem, some confidence, maybe if i liked myself as a person, maybe if i wasn't so unattractive, things would be different. i don't want to go back, i don't want to do anything but sleep. everything's so wrong.