not coping

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by forever_scarred, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    went to work at the barn today, figured it would help with the stress and make me forget how much things are changing but if anything i felt worse at the barn. i didnt wanna talk to my friends there, i sat in my babes stall, just sat there and felt NOTHING. i have never felt nothing when im at the barn. people asked what was wrong but the only thing i could admit to was i was upset that my cousin (twice removed) died, i was close to him as a child but havent seen him for many years, i knew that wasnt the reason i was so upset. i have problems/worries stacking up...the owner of the barn has melanoma, my friend's parents are getting a divorce and i worry for the kids as they are getting dragged into the middle of everything, my grandfather's brother is in a nursing home (has Alzheimer's) my grandfather goes up every week to see him i kno its really bothering him, even tho my grandparents are in pretty good health for their age i kno my grandpa is worried he will end up like his brother and to see him place his head in his hands and just sit or see him stare out a window it breaks my heart, i am not dealing with my issues at all now. before it was just hard for me to bring it up and talk about it, now i wont talk about how i feel at all. i dont feel like its worth listening to. i kno what i have become and no one needs to care how i end up. most of the time its even too difficult for me to cry or smile or even act like i am ok. pretty much not worth even trying anymore.
  2. Ci_Padre

    Ci_Padre New Member

    From one lost case to another... dont just get down and be done with it. thats the reason I signed up on this stupid forum... sometimes its just that person to talk to. I know what it's like feeling like telling your friends is irrelevant... thats why people do things like Hotlines and stuff (but Im not saying call them)

    Sometimes you just need someone to talk to... and if you need to, I'm here to talk

    I hope things seem better soon
  3. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    Sometimes life can seem at odds with itself. You look in one direction and you see growth and joy making. You look in the other and you see disease and hurt. It's perplexing that they can go together so smoothly. The reality is, they don't. People give a false impression that everything is ok because they really hope that everything will be ok and want it to be. We all try our hardest to turn a bad circumstance around. Even then, there're many things that we cannot help. So we have to somehow cope with it.

    I've always been confused by the area in between loss and merriment. Sometimes I wonder how people can even be happy. If you harden yourself to these things, I can only see that as bittersweet. If you embrace them, how can you stop from crying? You must somehow restore yourself. But I am unsure how people do that. My only guess is that life is throwing so many things at them that they usually don't have the time to think about everything that has gone wrong in their life. Maybe it's good to get lost in the machine.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Theres just somethings you can't do to help.. Now your grandfather you can hug him and tell him how much you love him.. Maybe you could go with him to see his brother..Show him your support..At least it will give him comfort knowing someone else cares..I wish you the best..