Not depressed but constantly considering suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by element1908, Apr 30, 2014.

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  1. element1908

    element1908 New Member

    I'll get straight to it...

    For the past 4-5 months I've been considering suicide regularly, yet generally I'm not depressed. It's more of a feeling that I see no point in living and don't have any motivation towards seeing out my future. I'm a male and in my last year of uni and work part time, love going to the gym and staying in shape and generally my life isn't horrible. I just don't feel like I want to keep going. Something my sister said a few months ago resonates with me constantly, she said that "you should always have something to look forward to."

    That's my problem, I don't feel like I do. I'm only young (21) but I don't know what I'm supposed to be happy about. My plan is to graduate and I shouldn't have any problem finding a job after uni, but am I supposed to be enthused about this? Working the 9-5 and making money when I don't even care about it? If anything this will just make my life worse.

    I just feel like I'm done, what am I supposed to do? The main thing holding me back from doing it is my family, more specifically my little brother who I wouldn't want to leave alone.

    If anyone reads this, thanks :)
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you talked to someone about how you feel a councelor your doc a therapist someone ok It could be low end of depression but i cannot diagnose maybe your gp should run some medical test thyroid and iron and other test You are 21 lots of time to figure out what will bring you happiness but talking to someone can and will help you
  3. skypenguin

    skypenguin Member

    Element, I felt the same way in college, and continued working the 9-5 for 7 years... Then Finally had to get honest with myself and quit my government job. Perhaps you need some time to reflect.
    You may not be "depressed," but maybe talking this out with a therapist can help. Your emotions are telling you something, that you're not living a life that brings you joy. So stop what you're doing and figure out what might be more fulfilling.
    This is a difficult plan, but it's way better than living an empty life for the next 60 years. It sounds like you're physically healthy, and maybe diving into gym or personal training could be an interesting full time pursuit.
    Don't listen to people who are obsessed with their idea of your income or career goals. Search for what fulfills you, and think of this current crisis as a "red flag" that you need to re-evaluate before you get stuck in a place or career that isn't fulfilling you.
    I hope this helps, and we're all in this same boat. Most people just distract themselves with Television, Drugs, or Food instead of asking these tough questions.
  4. ShakeSphere

    ShakeSphere New Member

    Certainly sounds familiar to me - Look up the term "anhedonia" if you've not heard it. Sound about right?

    One perhaps silly solution I have found helpful is to ask myself a question... And spend time and energy trying to answer it. Depending on how I'm feeling, it could be a specific question ("what makes this/that process tick?") or a more philosophical one, in other words one that there isn't readily an answer to (any number of philosophical or religious questions... even if you're neither philosophical or spiritual as that isn't necessarily the point).

    Striving to answer said question will give you meaning and purpose, even if for a short time only.

    Not a solution, but temporary stepping stones.
  5. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    I think you should set yourself a goal, it doesn't have to be a big one. Like a good graduation from uni, or even finding a perfect present for your brother's or sister's birthday. It's the little goals that count. Of course you can also give you something to look forward to by making plans for a trip after you've finished university or so. There are so many possibilities!
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi element1908, welcome to the forum.

    Depression is hard at a young age. Setting goals is a way forward. Join the mundane 9 to 5 rat race is hard but just keep focused on your aims. In life, we all suffer setbacks but we have to drag ourselves from the floor. Do not fret but focus on your young brother. Spend sometime with your brother and may that special bonding stronger. If you do anything, he will not understand why you did. Just be strong for your brother or speak to a counsellor in private explaining your situation.

    You have a lot to look forward to. The transition from university to work life is hard but you will get setbacks. Just stay focus on your young brother and just believe in yourself. Take care and keep posting.
  7. jumplink

    jumplink New Member

    exactly same thing here.. except im 3 years older than you.
    I remember being 14 and telling people things that i just dont want to live, they would tell me to wait at least 10 years, because life is going to change a lot because of being independant, sexual and whatever. and it just doesnt really give any pleasure still.
    unfortunately i can't give any advice, cos it would be like blind leading the blind.
    setting a goal most likely wont help. setting and accomplishing a goal brings dissatisfaction, and why set a goal when you don't want anything.
    so i dont know, stay strong friend. maybe it will change.
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