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Not depressed but what?

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It's kinda weird... i am not depressed at the moment... maybe only slightly, maybe a few hours per day i feel down... but most of the time i'm just feeling empty. I'm not bored, at least not that much - i listen to music or do something else... the problem is just that nothing gives me real pleasure... i do a lot of things - playing piano, reading books, listening to the music, going out with friends... but all those things just dont give me any real pleasure... exception is time spent with my girlfriend.
Lately i've been on the road of self destruction again - drinking, energy drinks, chain smoking... i just try to do things to keep my mind of life.... I somehow don't know how i could be happy... i mean nothing gives me real pleasure... i can focus on college, and it gives my life some meaning... but i'm still feeling empty. Where does this emptyness comes from? I don't suffer from any trauma, why do i feel so empty, like there is something missing?
I don't know, i'm not expecting answers, i'm just venting i guess...


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It sounds like you are depressed but it has manifested itself in a different way than the last time you were. Like you feel unfulfilled as you lack pleasure from life.
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