Too dependant on this place and the people here. Sat in trig. room praying someone will talk me out of the thing I am desperately close to - or at the very least talk to me at all - but nobody is here. Up until now I have been at "sometime soon" and it has been reassuring in a way - an escape route in the back of my mind - but right now I'm at "okay this is it" and I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to be so scared of carrying on that living through it feels like its not an option. Please help me.