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not doing very well

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jimk, Jan 8, 2009.

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  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    feel really badly. surviving with my autistic 32 yrs old son John and that is ok and necessary but i am scared and very tired. rain in washington state is quit rite now nad water which was getting close to the floorboards seems to be going down. having a battle currently with the higher ups on favorite website which helps mentally ill people. resigned part of my powers yesterday as was very unhappy with way things were going with that program. that is probably what set me off. \

    not sleeping much and just crawling back from another amnesia state in a very intensive dissoicative state. tryin \ to figure out everything now aws am totally out to lunch.. i am so tired of these. total disorientation and losiing all kinds of hours and not having even the slightest ideas what did. want to just take john and hibernate for awhile and get the hell away. these dissociative states are very scary and fraid some time will not find my way back.

    did something very unusual for me while back today. called a friend and said i am doing really badly and i am terrified and i am sorry to put this upon you now. i am not supposed to ask others for help!!! i am supposed to give it. got call into my therapist of 8 yrs TAra to call me. not a clue what she is supposed to do. i am almost 62 yrs now and been dissoicating since age of 5 and this is probably never going to end.

    sorry some to unload on you at this time but i just feel like crap and having a hard time finding my butt with both hands on it , much less my mind or what passes fofr it.... take care, Jim
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi Jim,

    I'm really sorry that you're not feeling very well at the moment. How are things for you now? It sounds really difficult for you at the moment and also very tiring. I hope the rain subsided?

    I hear it's scary for you to reach out to people and something that you're not used to doing.. maybe you feel like you should be able to deal with things alone and 'be strong' but i just wanted to let you know that it really is ok to reach out, it's ok to call a friend or write on this forum or call a therapist.. you are worth hearing and you do not deserve to be alone in all of this pain.

    Keep talking here if it helps.. i'm listening
    Jenny x
  3. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Hi Jim, I'm really sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Is there anybody who can care for your son just to give you a few days rest? We have a respite service here in UK, maybe you could look into this where you live?
    Its ok to ask for help Jim. I understand how you feel, I myself am only just learning to ask, even now it usually comes out as moaning in my case :) Please stay in touch and we will do all we can to help you through this, even if it's just a listening ear!

    Take care, Lea x
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Life seems to get the better of us at times and this sounds to be one of your times. i am sorry you have to go through these feelings. When you are used to helping others the most difficult thing for you to do is admit you need or ask for help. Everyone needs help at one time or another. i am glad you were able to turn to us and ask. Please continue to post and we will do our best to help support you. Take care. :hug:
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