Not easy to talk about but...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by sadhart, Sep 30, 2011.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I drink, and I probably would be considered an alcoholic. Although there are many reasons why I drink such as having a toxic family, worries about finishing college and having a real career and future, and more so...i drink to numb the pain of a broken heart--despite these things, I don't point my fingers at people blaming them as if they made or forced me to drink, I know it's a choice and I must take responsibility first and foremost.

    It's been over a week since I last drank alcohol and I haven't had any withdrawals or cravings so much. And it's not like I don't want to drink, I just haven't really thought about it so much to go out and get any.

    I'm sorry for rambling, I guess it's just that it's not easy talking about my drinking with family because they blow it out of proportion all the while making dumbass excuses why it's for them to drink and do other habits. I would like to eventually open up about my drinking on this forum, and i hope to do it soon.
  2. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    I know the hesitation, I haven't really delved into my addictions here yet either, still working on the whole opening up thing. A week is a feat though, something to hold on to, adding another day each day till its a month, then 3 months, then 6 and so on. One day you will look back, as I have and see years rather than weeks or months. I wish you luck.
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    So in the last two weeks, I have only drank once. It was a 24 oz can of beer. I know that isn't a big deal, but it feels strange not to have a huge craving for alcohol. Don;t get me wrong, I want to drink most days, especially feeling like my life is always going to feel meaningless and hopeless, I am just not desperate to drink.
  4. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    i don't mean to belittle yo u or anything but i don't think you are an alcoholic in medical terms.

    obviously, if you you think you have a problem, cut out the drinking now before you really can't and need a drink to function/feel alive/forget the past/etc

    just you dont want to go down that road.

    i dont know you situation but cant you replace the craving for something else? forget about drink, think of something else.

    and drinken to try (and that is all you will be able to do coz it will never actually work) and forget your worries about college and numbding a broken heart will NEVER work, trust me.
  5. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Well, I'll try not to take what you say as belittling my drinking, but the reason why I opened up about this is because for the past five years since I first started, I have drank more times than being sober for a long period of time.

    And while I know it is not healthy or a right choice, but for me, yes, drinking does numb the pain, especially when other "postive" alternatives often times make it worse.
  6. Lana

    Lana Well-Known Member

    It's good that you only had one drink in the last 2 weeks. Congrats on that :) I hope you're doing well.
  7. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Not every alcoholic drinks every day, or gets drunk every time they drink. There are occasional alcoholics, binge alcoholics, and alcoholics who can control their drinking for some special occasion. The more common symptom seems to be loss of control, sometimes developing early, sometimes later, but alcoholism is a fatal and progressive disease.

    But not every drinker becomes an alcoholic. A great reference is the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" sometimes referred to as the Big Book.

    Feel free to PM me if you like, I've got several years of sobriety.
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