Not feeling great right now.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Raskolnikov, Feb 23, 2011.

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  1. Raskolnikov

    Raskolnikov Member

    Hi everybody I'm Charles, I'm having a bad day today. I just joined recently and havent talked to many people but after reading what I said about cutting I was refered to here. I was going to try to not cut tonight but earlier this afternoon I got a text from an old highscool friend(I say old highschool, im just a freshman in college) messaged me very upset. Apparantely she has been having a relation ship with our highschool English teacher and it is very distressing to her. He is not abusive or anything (as far as I know) but she was distressed enough to text me after months apart. I'm personally upset becasue my older sister had a simular situation. She knows this and I suppose thats why she confided this in me. I have a younger sister who will have this man as a teacher in a few years. She desperatley wants me not to tell anyone and I told her I would not at least until I could talk to her properly over the phone tommorrow( she did not want to talk tonight) Dealing with my own crap and now hers was a too much and I cut again just now. Dont know why I am posting this exacty. Hopefully someone will have some wisdom for me
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Aww that is too much for you to handle i am sorry that you harmed yourself I know you said you would not say anything but this teacher needs to be reported as he probably in harming other people this way not just your friend.
    I would call the school he works at and leave an anonymous call saying what he is doing or call the police even and warn them of his actions
    Do it anonymously but do it okay She called because even though she says she does not want help she does she wants this to end.
    If you can call authorities okay because like you say you sister will be going there and you want this creep gone Keep talking here okay so we can support you hugs to you Please don't harm you okay the only one that deserves to be harmed is the teacher hugs
     
  3. Twinkle ☆ Twinkle

    Twinkle ☆ Twinkle Well-Known Member

    Hi Charles.
    *hugs* I'm sorry that you're having a bad day. I can see how dealing with all your own personal problems, and then also with your friends would be very stressful & I think it would be best to talk to someone else about it, regardless if she doesn't want you to tell anyone. This relationship probablly isn't safe, and she most likely needs to get out of it.

    I also agree with what total eclipse said. Leaving an annoymous message or e-mail to someone seems like a good idea.
     
  4. Raskolnikov

    Raskolnikov Member

    I just got off the phone with her, we talked for a couple of hours. She assures me that it was a "purely emotionaly affair". Though I am not entirely sure I believe her on that I do believe her when she says that she ended it last night. I did not know that at the time, she was drunk by the time she started talking to me and left that part out. I know your right when you say this behavior should be reported, but this girls mom works at the same highschool. If he was reported as haveing any type of relationship with a student (even a nonsexual one that was started 4 months after she graduated) he would be fired because everybody would know it was this girl and her mom would make sure it got validity. I am not worried about that personally but he is very important to her and when I convinced her to seek out a therapist she said she would only do it if I promised not to tell anyone. We compromised and I said we will discuss it again after she has been to a few sessions, and I hold off till then. Also as part of our deal she promised not to talk to him in the meantime.

    As i side note/question any one ever feel like their own problems are perpetually pushed to the side of others. Dont get me wrong I am more than happy to help her, but she has no idea how much it drains me emotionally
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu need to look after YOU and your needs first okay she knows what she needs to do He will harm others like her if he is not stopped
    You will have to tell your firend you are not well and you need time to deal with your own issues as well put up boundaries okay she is not being a good friend by telling you this and not allowing you to do anything about it. Your choice what you will do now but remember you take care of you
     
  6. Raskolnikov

    Raskolnikov Member

    I'm sure you all know this as well I do but it is hard to just ignore a cry for help. I suppose if it is actually causing me harm; I should reconsdier the magnitude of my involvement.
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    it doesn't matter if it was only an emotional affair as she put it he is a professional and knows better. she put this in your court she reach out to you who knows why but you have to do with this information what you feel best now
    If she did not want the truth to come out she would not have told Not only her now that you need to consider saftey for it is the other children under his care. She made it not all about her when she told
    I don't know just me but i would still anonymously give him up because if anything happen to another person i would feel so responsible
    Your call though and i am glad she has someone to talk to but it is cruel to give you information and not allow you to deal with it as you seem
     
  8. Raskolnikov

    Raskolnikov Member

    I just dont know, I will think about it. What if when she is contacted she denies it?
     
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