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I remind myself that I have a family, that this is not the first time I'm feeling this way, and also that psych hospitals are out there if I cannot take it anymore. While telling myself the aforementioned might not help me feel more positive and hopeful when I'm already in a really dark place, it is nowhere near the negative thinking I get immersed in.
And Soup, how are you doing today? Sending you thoughtful hugs.. :hug:
And Soup, how are you doing today? Sending you thoughtful hugs.. :hug:
I
I'm really tired today, I keep my face smiling for the kids, but I am getting so tired pretending, dissociative stuff is bad today too which always freaks me out - Back to work on Tuesday and also due to see T then too - I really don't think I can face either, but I guess as always I will put my mask on and keep plodding until something happens to stop the plodding - why does it have to be this way? I see others laughing having fun and then there is me feeling like some alien, that I am not like them, that I am burdened with a terminal mind problem, how does it get better? Where do we draw the line and say enough, it is not going to get any better. Is there a point to trying to be positive - or is that just pretending too.
I remind myself of my family, I also find it useful to have a motivational poem or piece of writing that I can look at, to remind me of the good things in life. I have also started to keep a scrapbook of my favourite memories so, even when I feel like everything is useless, I have no choice but to see that life isn't as bad as I sometimes think it is. And 'Speedy' is completely right, I also tell myself that if things get too much to deal with there are places I can go where people can help me properly.
It's an amazing thing to keep smiling for your kids, and I really hope you start to feel better soon. We're always here if you need us x
It's an amazing thing to keep smiling for your kids, and I really hope you start to feel better soon. We're always here if you need us x
I
Thank-you for your replies - on one level I know what you say is right and that my thinking is distorted, but right now it all feels so real and I have to battle to remind myself to hang on in there. Do these thoughts ever go for good?
---------- Post added at 11:43 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:39 AM ----------
And do you ever think - how is it that part of me wants to destroy myself just for the sake of it and actually what if those thoughts are right and actually know what is best for me - so rather that the negative ones being the ones that are distorted, it is the positive ones that are tricking me instead.
---------- Post added at 11:43 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:39 AM ----------
And do you ever think - how is it that part of me wants to destroy myself just for the sake of it and actually what if those thoughts are right and actually know what is best for me - so rather that the negative ones being the ones that are distorted, it is the positive ones that are tricking me instead.
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