not fighting the war today...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jimk, Oct 8, 2012.

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  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    holding down the intake of the marlboros, not buying on amazon, cutting coffee intake, not crusing this website, et.... today i am just giving into impulses and not going to fight it today.. i am one terrbly addictive personality with many foibles and vices.. last night promised i would be good today..

    well just fuck it.. going against my very nature is really tiring.. life too bloody short to cause myself this much trials and tribulations.. just going to be me and try to enjoy it while i do it.. going to go kiss johnny on the nose.. tell him i love him and just be me..
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Thinking of you my friend and hoping you don't beat yourself up over a relatively innocuous moment of weakness.
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Ben that you care means a ton to me.. Have made a decision today. The constant shifting of the all or nothing on my addictions is not something I am going to do anymore.. Just going to attempt some moderation on all fronts..

    New possible territory for me.. This fighting to none for awhile and then falling off the wagon again is very hard on my being.. This a bloody war not going to do anymore. This battling will kill me before a few marlboros would..
  4. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Always, always be you. Everyone has their own bits and bobs they do, its just the way it is. :hug: why stop doing something that makes you happy for now.
  5. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    I don't fight it. Ever.

    Xanax addiction,etc. is the least of my concerns.
  6. alyssaswoon

    alyssaswoon Well-Known Member

    Everyone has some "fuck it" days, we're all only human after all. You've just got to remember, you're allowed to say "fuck it" every now and again, you're no less of a person for it and should never think less of yourself because of it. Just take life one day at a time, some are good, some are bad, but at least you've made it through.
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