not fit enough to survive

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im staring at this blank page not knowing what to write, i´ve been feeling this headache for a long time now and i couldnt concentrate anymore. im afraid of getting help because i dont want to have a psychiatric history behind my name. plus im afraid what they will do and if i should take the risk. so i googled. im afraid i show alot of symptoms with a psychosis i did a few online tests and nearly called for help. they closed at 4 pm it was 3:20 then 3:30 came and finally around 3:55 i chickened out and here i am. back on the forum. i dont know what to do, everytime i want to act the fear kicks in, or perhaps just the lack of courage. im afraid to step forward and say i might have a psychiatric condition and even if i do im afraid ill just be put on a waiting list. im stuck and feel like there is no point getting out, that ill just get back into where i have been the last couple of years. so i want out. i just cant help but think of the freedom of standing on the golden gate and just scream 'geronimo' and that in 5 seconds it will all just be over. i cant know what is next but i have failed at everything i do or ever did. im just not fit enough to survive


Well-Known Member

I understand the headache. I think I had mine for many months before I finally fixed my situation.

It sounds like you need some help working through this. I hope you can make that phone call tomorrow.

I too understand the fear of creating a mental health record. I had the same issue - I was being selected for a very sensitive job - that would have disqualified me.

Luckily somebody here connected with me and helped me through my problem.

If your electricity or plumbing was jammed up/broken, you would get professional help in most cases - some you might be able to fix yourself, but mostly you need a professional if the problem is significant.

Your mind has a significant problem right now, you should treat yourself as you would your home, because it really is your home.



Antiquities Friend
You can't determine if you have a psychotic disorder from an online questionnaire. Even if you do you can have a very full life- my mother has been schizoaffective for forty three years now and lives a very full life.

A bridge jump would be shattered bones, cold water and the torment of slowly drowning. Much longer than five seconds and agony you don't wish on anyone. Tonight, tell a least one person close to you the danger you in, okay?
but the thing is its not that clear cut, if my pipes are broken they can be fixed pretty easy but brains are complicated. and i keep thinking about this article i came across which said that if you treat a psychosis it becomes chronic but if you dont take pills then you might even recover. and its difficult to know if i am psychotic, how do i know for sure? i mean if i have a broken bone i can get x-rayed and see the fracture on a photo but mentally? i dont know what to do, i cant think properly anymore


Well-Known Member
Do you know there are physical conditions that can cause that. Neurological diseases, autoimmune diseases, thyroid disease, metabolic disorders, narcolepsy, MS, brain tumors, stroke, epilepsy, parkinson's disease, alzheimer's disease, that list goes on and on.

Do the hallucinations happen while your laying down or at any time? Are you having delusional beliefs? I have some degree of psychosis. Even when I was 11 yrs old, I saw my grandmother after she died. I see paranormal things, but it's always while I have been in bed, well except the one with my grandmother. Real as hell but I don't let my mind wonder and think it's all real, even if it feels that way. I think our mind can be really good at fooling us. I am just as sane as the person across the street.. My daughter in laws mom is not a depressive person and she hunts ghosts as a hobbie.. Anyone I know, older than me, can tell me some form of story where they have encountered that is paranormal, even the teenagers do.. I don't know exactly what your situation is, but you should take your concern to your doctor. Maybe they can do some scans and some blood work, find a reason behind this and get you better.


Staff Alumni
We cant self-diagnoze ourselves, which is why you need to reach out for professional help. You life is more important than any job. As soon as you'll make your first step, it will feel a bit better because you will have treated yourself with compassion. It takes a while for things to get better, because it really is a process, no magic bullet there. You know, no matter how amazing things look from the outside (career, loving family, money), a mental illness strip you of your capacity to enjoy all of those things. Which is why getting better should take precedence on everything else at this juncture of your life. Good luck in reaching out.
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