Not Getting Enough Comfort

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Cytrix, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. Cytrix

    Cytrix Active Member

    I have friends. We've shared history. We've been through tough times and good times.

    But, I'm not getting enough comfort from them than I should. Rather, I get a bunch of small-talk responses whenever I'm at my worst. FB "Likes" aren't really enough. Assuring me "things will be better" is not enough.

    I need a comfort zone and that comfort zone is talking to me about things to ease my worry and ease myself. Nobody does that and takes time to. Yet they take every minute out of every day to be posting captioned images, vine videos and images with memes on them to talk.

    I'm worried of losing my job, even though it's crap. My manager pulled me aside a few hours ago and questioned my productivity. Even being just a month young there, I'm like expected the world from them to accomplish things. It's retail - retail logic. I've tried my best and applied experiences to that job the best I could. But it doesn't seem enough.

    My manager zeroed in on a day where I pulled 14 stocked cases. I had a good defense. Because I had under 30 minutes to do what I needed to do and I had to help four customers. That takes time and I was stuck with even less time, so I did however many I could. I was lucky to see even 10. Yet he was breaking down my hour stock like "you did 5 in one hour...4 the next". Um, hello? I know you're a manager but you should understand this.

    I didn't bother arguing with him even if I saw holes in his lecture. Because I know if I argue with him, it would've been instant-termination. He's comparing apples and oranges to how he works compared to how I and others worked. But I continued to listen to him anyways because maybe I need some push from him, I don't know. I just didn't like how unappreciative he came off to me.

    But now I'm in worry to death about surviving another day there. I've often told myself that if I fail this one job, I'm walking away from home and not coming back. Because I fear the backlash I'd get from my father for yet another job failure. My home is merely just shelter and nothing more.

    So I'm stuck with this fear and worry and I've got not even the company of friends to help. Because, again, they'd rather have small-talk that goes no where, false assurances, no relations and no discussion to take me off my worry. I hate these people. Makes me want to die half the time. In fact, I've posted highly-suggestive suicide statuses on FB - they go ignored. Just, fucking wow, people. Just wow...
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    Fucking social media wow, just fucking wow. Sorry, hello and welcome to SF where I know you are going to find plenty of us to talk to. Its quiet right now because its summer and holiday time. But forget FB, you will get far more out of this place I promise you that much.

    It sounds like the job is a major concern right now with your manager being on your back. You can only do your best, no one can ask more. If thats not enough, there little any of us can do about it. Maybe this just isn't the right job for you and you need to think about looking elsewhere?

    Why is home just a shelter? Thats not right.

    But you will be amongst friends here. We all look to share experiences and support each other. Hopefully you will find you have a place here and we can get to know you a little better. Its completely anonymous and no one will judge you or laugh at you, so you can say what you want [within the rules].
  3. Cytrix

    Cytrix Active Member

    I've done my best. This would be the 3rd stocking job I've had and first job I've had in 6 months since Dollar Tree back in December (ended because of temp position). I've done over 14 jobs in total, online and off in my lifetime. I've held 5 jobs at once, one time! (IRL - Part Time Stocker, Volunteer Paper Delivery. Online - DJ Host/DJ/Manager) so yeah I can do wonders when I'm comforted.

    I do intend to do my best this time around. I've unfortunately, forgotten everything he told me about. All I know now is "do better...or go out terminated trying" which I expect the latter because my tenure in all retail positions I've held had all met short ends. I'm just not a retail guy I guess.

    I don't know what else I can do in life. I appreciate the attempt a friend of mine tried doing by getting me a career with a tech company that dealt with my state's lottery. But, the problem was, I didn't possess the skills required for the position. It was Systems Operator and I would be tasked answering calls, giving advice on how to maintain machines, maintain the databases themselves .etc - in 12 hour grueling shifts. Yeah, that's not me all over, however, I still have an itch to be involved in the IT field somewhere. Don't know where...

    Home is a shelter to me because I don't have much of a say in it - at all. I'm going to be 27 this year, and if the manager on my back isn't a problem - then everyone's expectancy is. Everyone from parents (I live with one, because divorced over a decade and a half ago), friends (to a point). I've only ever moved out once in my life but that little accomplishment is old by 4 years and it lasted shortly because I moved in with two incompetent people so I got thrown back "home".

    Nobody wants to take me in. People, again, kept giving me "Well...if I had..." blah blah. Yeah, I'm sure you would...if you got off your own ass and did shit for yourself! I need to stop listening to people who haven't even proven themselves in life before taking their advice and wishes at heart.

    I've got no vehicle. I've got literally nothing. The more I feel like a burden to someone, the more I want to just off myself and I can hit two birds with one stone. I'd be at peace and I wouldn't be a weight on another's shoulders. I'd really hate to be thinking this, but people aren't giving me that much of an option. I feel like I've blown so many opportunities in life anyways and even I feel my options are limited.

    I've tried many times to separate myself from FB and the disease of social media. But I can't leave because stubborn friends don't want to contact me anywheres else. FFS...
  4. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    If they wont contact by other means, that you are comfortble with, are they friends? I would be seriously asking that question. Is popularity measured by how many FB names you have on your friends list? Yeah, I know it probably is these days.

    You are not a burden, none of us are, but we convince ourselves otherwise. In most cases, friends and family want to help, they just dont know how and if we wont/cant talk to them, its a vicious circle. I am involved in some family therapy at the moment because communication with my partner has broken down to the point where we dont talk about our problems.

    I think that you need to spend some time evaluating your life, writing down whats good and whats bad. Once you have done that, you have some idea of what changes need to be made. Career path is certainly something to look long and hard at because it appears to me you are not cut out for retail work right now. But some changes need to be made thats for sure.

    Do you think you might have any mental health issues, anxiety, stress, depression or anything remotely like that?
    IamTetsuo likes this.
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum.
  6. IamTetsuo

    IamTetsuo Well-Known Member

    Hey man, I empathise a lot with your position. I'm sorry that you are struggling in your job and managers can be really pointless and disrespectful sometimes. It's great that you said you actually tried to take on board what he said even though he wasn't saying it in the right way. I have a lot of respect for you that you can keep going through a difficult situation. Try your best in this job and know that you can get a great job that you will enjoy - this is absolutely possible! You could look into a IT qualification and keep looking out for low level IT jobs. Like Sinister Kid said above it can be a good idea to sit down and think about what you really want and forget anyone's expectations of you.

    If there are any of your friends that you feel close enough to then maybe you could ask them if you can talk to them and be honest about how your feeling. I think you'll have to make this step though rather than expect them to make the first move. I would imagine that you'll get a very sympathetic response and become even closer but I wouldn't know form experience as it's not something I've ever manged! If that doesn't seem like an option then you can always talk openly on this forum, that's why it's such a great place to come.
  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    The FB feed system is POS and don't understand why people continue to like FB.... I predict there will be another social media. Who knows
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Dang it I keep pressing post before I complete my feedback. Just saying keep going and finding that job you click with and is good at. Retail isn't easy. Alot successful people tried and failed at a lot things before they hit it. Just saying don't give up. If this job lasts longer than your expectations then great! If it doesn't try something else that's not in retail that might tickle your fancy but be out of your comfort zone who knows what it'll take you
  9. Cytrix

    Cytrix Active Member

    Just wanted to say to everyone here - thanks for listening to what I've had to say. This is the kind of responses I'd expect from those who took the time to listen. It's very refreshing and I feel like I don't have to jump hoops to gain even remotely of a second to be heard.

    IAmTetsuo - I got by easy today and I still remain there. For reasons that my stock leader decided that we shouldn't give two damns about keeping track of stock count. I pulled over 91 today which is pretty reasonable in some form of productivity. As long as my stock leader is thinking and saying that I'm doing okay - then I value her opinion, not so much the manager's. I'd like to think I specialize in networking, which is what I focused a lot of my time to learning back when I was in HS. Yet, I'm incredibly rusty with my old knowledge and most of it has rotted away by now. I'm a bit irritated that for eight years I've been a member of my friend's computer club, that I learned crap from him. Our computer club had all the right intentions and great visionary for it's future. But, as year after year came, it became clear that it was more of a hangout. When your club is fretting more on getting the pizza done right in the oven - yeah, the focus is lost. I find it increasingly insulting that while he's able to flatter me by saying he sees potential in me. He lacks the in-depth sight to understand that I've learned nothing when I was under his wing and thus my time with the club and the time I could've taken to properly learn things was a colossal waste of time.

    DrownedFishOnFire - I've been on the internet for 20 years of my life, starting in 1996 using a WebTV surfing at 33kbps of dial-up speed. For the longest time to now, I've believed that we've long reached the pinnacle of communication. That was to have messengers and e-mails on the go through mobile. We can't get really better than that. Everything FB boasts about being when it comes to getting back in contact with friends and family. You could already have done if one wasn't so reluctant to share their e-mail - because how else could you have registered onto FB with? I mean when you think about it, it's right under everyone's noses. The E-Mail was and is one of the best pieces of communication there is to date and still fluently used. One could think that the advancement of all this technology and social media could crush the E-Mail. But, no. FB and Social Media in general has watered communicating down to just show and tell like children while doing everything you were already doing. Twitter for christ sakes, is just FB's status box. That's not bringing anything innovative to the table, it's just doing something we already could do.

    I also honestly believe that social media has gone on to divide people and brought out the mischievous in humanity on a broad scale. It has not made anything progressively better by any length. It just turns people into self-promoting sellouts and advertisements on a personal scale and that's ridiculous.

    SinisterKid - I've experienced the three things you've listed many times.

    Depression - I've wasted so much time doing nothing despite the free time I am blessed with. I have 400+ games on Steam, over 35 books IRL (and online) to read, movies to watch. Yet, I'm here, infront of the screen. Doing absolutely boring things like checking sites in a routine manner, knowing nothing has really picked up. The worst of my depression is when I cave in to eating to rid away my problems. There was a period in time where I'd be at a McDonald's and I'd order 4 - 5 things off the dollar menu. Those sandwiches would be eaten in under an hour so long as the taste of them, even bad, would rid away the poor memories I have. And knowing how low my life has sunk in some ways.

    Anxiety - Realizing how society is and knowing a bit too much for my own good about the inner workings of Life itself. I'm often intimidated and greatly uncertain about my future accomplishments. I'm going to be 27 this year and I feel like I haven't made any true and notable achievements in my life. College could've helped me but I elected and decided to not pursue in because that's an easy way to rack up debt it'd take forever to pay. So, I've banked heavily on my high school diploma - the very thing when I was growing up, people told me it was THE most important thing to have. And it is, but it will not amount to anything when it comes to getting a job, it's just a ticket for you to construct your resume into nothing but no-where retail and even janitorial jobs. Great...and my resume is already drawn up like that. Screams "Average Worker" than anything noteworthy.

    Stress - Constantly. I am bitter and angry around and to those I shouldn't. But I feel justified in doing so because I'm so tired of being let down be it by myself or my fellow man aka friends. I am so tired of feeling like nothing is going to be better, that this is "the best" people have to offer when I know people can be better. Yet, refuse to. Every little thing now stresses me out. Driving - whenever I hit a lot of bumps in the road, I can't help but be rash in judgment about my state's road crew for being incompetent people to make it better. Communicating - if I feel someone only talks to me for a favor or the conversation lasts no more than 2 minutes in the day with nothing on the table to talk about, then it's a waste to me. I used to be one of the most patient people that can wait forever. But now, because of being around so many slow pokes on the road and even walking radius, I can't stand waiting for a few seconds longer.

    I always feel like there's someone with their foot on my back keeping me down and pressing down when I'm laid there. Everyone from management to friends to family is known to me of doing this. I think it's because they enjoy it or are that clumsy enough to not be aware that they're doing it with the chances that they don't give a fuck. Because if I've learned anything from the twisted ways of society, you're only seen as a stepping stone for whatever means to give someone a leap a head. Whenever you intended to or not and most times, it's out of disrespect.

    I've made my voice clear many times to my friends and I'm just met with usually a hush of silence. I'd be lying by saying that nobody talks, only very very scarce few did. I'm at a lost with them and there's a great misunderstanding and miscommunication somewhere with us. I'm more impacted about how I've been friends with those I know for well over a decade and yet I'm treated like nothing. Way to show "respect" to not only me but everything we've built together.
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  10. IamTetsuo

    IamTetsuo Well-Known Member

    I'm sure that a lot of people round here can identify with a lot of things you have written. You are obviously a samrt guy and think a lot about yourself and what is going on around you. I don't know much about computing but I get the sense that you do and if you get your foot in the door you could go a long way. It's really good that you are identifying lots of problems in your life. Someting that I'm trying to get into my own head at the mo is that it is possible to change things and that the power is in me. If I really want it and if I really belive it then I can do it. It will take discipline and consistency and I will have to leave the comfort of my cage but it is possible.

    I don't mean to get pushy, I acknowledge that you're feeling a lot of pain and that sometimes we just need to feel that shit but when you are ready to try something different it's there for you.
  11. Cytrix

    Cytrix Active Member

    Welp, I've unceremoniously dumped a couple long-time friends. I've done some careful considerations and it appears that my time with them has long passed. It's just I was too stubborn and reluctant to throw them away any sooner. Also out of some fear that they'd have ammunition against me over petty matters.

    One of which I've been with for 10 years. Seems like all she's good for these days is just posting updates about cats and crap. The other was an 8-year old ish friend and 3x ex that just seemed to want the hermit life away from responsibility. I'm tired of these bottomless pits of emotion and devotion. Because that's what they are. You give and give to them. They take and take. You'll barely get anything back in return as a small token to your generosity and kindness. While they shuffle back away in their dark corners without a care or noteworthy acknowledgement. Crawling out once in a while for an opportunity to take advantage once again and so the cycle repeats. Assuring me that things are okay when neither of them want to work another day in their lives. They're too busy figuring out ways how to mooch off of their boyfriends (one of them, the 10 year friend) and the other is fighting for SSI so she doesn't have to work again (the 8 year friend).

    Absolutely despicable people.

    The other friend I unceremoniously dumped is one who is the leader of a computer club group I've been with for eight years. Boy was he a handful...


    To elaborate, I once owed him $65 for helping me get a tablet, a laptop and the power supply to said laptop (thankfully I've paid for all of that). While he has a skill of seeing one for their potential. He doesn't have the oversight and the ability to properly utilize that one's potential. About 4 months ago, I was pushed into talking to a group from a tech company and I met them at a job fair, nice fellows. It was for a systems operator position that assisted running the lottery in my state. Important stuff, right? Well, I gave them my then-resume and we had a good chat. Fast forward 4 months later, or 3 rather. I get a random phone call, it was them, asking me for an interview. Cool, buuuut, I already have a job by this point and been with them for a month. But to honor a long-time wait, I took up the interview.

    I notify my friend this and we were all excited and everything "yeah! let's do this! long time coming!" hurrah. So we plan a time so I am over at his house to be ready for the interview. I dress up in a white polo, a nice simple black coat with two front pockets, a pair of black denim jeans and black smooth looking shoes with socks on. This is my proper casual attire I fall to for interviews, I'm not one to dress all business like but I at least look nice for the role.

    He didn't accept this, though. And we went through almost an hour of dressing "properly" and I was put through a level of discomfort through this. I was forced to wear dress shirt and a shirt underneath it while a heavy coat over it with a tie. Needless to say, I felt overdressed. You ever had that parent who dressed you up for winter by putting on everything they could find and you could barely walk? It was like this.

    But, this was going to be nothing compared to what'd happen later. I had to meet these guys by 2 pm and I was let off by 1:30. Now, I know the route they're at which is like some mile and a half away from the friend's house point. But I didn't know where THEY, the building is. I get there and I drive up to the building. These guys were a small company so they'd have to be tucked in somewhere in with other companies. Couldn't find them. So I go into some random company and asked an associate for directions. He made it sound like they were off in another street, when they were literally in the back of the building. I'm thinking "Well, where the fuck is there logo and everything?" Because if you were there and saw this building, there was nothing distinctive that suggested there'd be another company. For all I know, it could have been the back entrance to another company, it was that difficult.

    So, I drove around the area feeling so lost. It was 1:45 at this point, still had time. Feeling lost, I thought to myself "Okay, I know I have an e-mail saying where they are, now if only I could find a wi-fi signal". I drove around the city and some streets trying to find a signal I can connect to with my laptop. I didn't have a phone or my tablet on me. I couldn't, either they were passworded or they were "open" meaning I'm gonna need to figure out logins to bypass the prompt screen, which I didn't possess. This was frustrating and time was passing fast as I was doing this. By the time I gave up and darted back to my friend's house, it was 2:30 - I was half an hour late and it made me nervous. I come back to the friend's house, told him I couldn't find it. He gets all frustrated at me and demands I get back in the car and drives me there.

    He speeds through the same route I took, lecturing and grumbling at me as we make our way there. Drops me off and tells me to go inside and do not call me unless it's done. So, I go through the interview, apologizing for the lateness. Sometime during the interview, the friend did show up and it seemed like he was gonna wait and pick me up. Nope. He shows up and dashes off, presumably because he thought the interview wouldn't take long. While I'm going through the interview I'm thinking "He's...abandoning me?". Interview done, I go out and wander around looking for him, thinking he might've parked somewhere in parking lots. Nope. He did actually abandon me and I was about ready to set off towards a 2-mile walk back into town. I stop half way to come back to the building and ask to use a phone, call him up. Apparently he went back home.

    So I get picked up, we go back to town and I attend the computer club meeting even though I didn't want to (a week prior, I've made it known that I was resigning from the group because we were running in place).

    And while thinking over what has transpired and the details of the job I was offered. I realized it was one big impulse. An impulse I was going to put effort into avoiding because while systems operator is low-key, it did require abilities I didn't possess. Notably experience with database infrastructures. And AIX Linux knowledge, which I didn't know at all.

    Me and this friend get into an argument about my possibilities with this job. This guy won't take "No" for an answer and god he was going to put up a fight about that. I've thought I was being reasonable and justified in backing away from a position I was entirely uncertain about. I'm not ready to deal with 12-hour shifts and no where am I capable to handle the requirements I am asked to accomplish. Yes, I've tinkered with Linux BUT not to the extent I've tinkered with Windows.

    I know I've been under this guy's wing and group for eight years. But he hasn't taught anyone crap while there. He keeps swearing up and down that anyone who attended would learn what they needed to know. But, as the years progressed, the only things we care about is getting pizzas in the oven, FFS. I came into his group to learn programming languages of Python/Ruby. He swore he'd teach us that but we never saw the light of day as he abandoned. He didn't get this because his realm of reality apparently differed from us. He's the kind of person that would evaluate what you've told him but never takes careful consideration about what you're actually capable of.

    And it's because of this, we got into huge fights about it. I don't want the job, I'm fine where I'm at. He's being a big baby about it...and I know sometime in the future he's gonna air dirty laundry about me and some car accident that I felt I was at minimal fault for. But because he had to lie to the other guy to get me off the hook, he'll feel it's justified.

    I'm sorry this story is everywhere. It's one of those stories that's everywhere because A) It's getting vague and B) It's one of those situations where from certain perspectives. It may sound like a "Oh my god, why aren't you taking this high paying job for so few hours?! Why! you're just incompetent and ungrateful!" No, absolutely false. It's one of those things where if you know what you're good at doing, why place yourself in a situation where the chances are AGAINST you than in your favor? Ugh...
  12. Bee4Shine

    Bee4Shine Member

    Cytrix, you are a verbal processor like me. I understand your frustration and why your friendships seem lacking. It really is frustrating. I wonder if people think that just because they can't fix our problems, they have nothing to say. Do they not realize that just listening engaging and asking questions takes some stress off and offers relief - even if it is the relief of a caring friend. I am sorry about the job interview and the pushy friend. He obviously wasn't listening. You wanted to learn computer languages, to increase your skills and to grow. You wanted to be in the midst of people that share your interests and all the benefits that brings. I was reading about your current job. I am convinced that manager bring up productivity numbers just because they have a check box on their clip board that says "Discuss productivity". They then go about discussing something that they don't have a good grasp of and didn't put the time in to understand. We have to keep a 96% rating at my job. 1 point would bring me down to a 94% which doesn't make ANY sense. And that point I contested and they took off. So I was back to 100%. Well my boss said, we still need to discuss the fact that you are at 94%. I looked at her in disbelief and said, "ok". There was no point arguing. So I get it. My encouragement to you is to smile, put on a positive attitude and continue to do your best. I am totally convinced that a positive attitude and helpful nature will go a lot further than production numbers. Anyway - I get it.
  13. Cytrix

    Cytrix Active Member


    I'd like to believe that people want to fix our problems in exchange for doing favors for them. No, that's not how it should work. I've answered the call on multiple occasions and have gone out of my way to help individuals. Dropping what I'm doing for the sake of helping them and getting practically let down in return for the long run. It seems I'm gradually easing myself into a mental wreck by involving myself with unappreciative, ungrateful and misunderstanding people. All I'd have to say to anyone seeking advice about how to handle these types - never regret dropping them. Because, they're off in their own world and for all they care, you're just helping them sweep their streets and sent away when they feel they don't need you.

    He never listens to anyone's valid concerns. I was simply trying to reason and thoroughly evaluate the situation properly. But all he was concerned about was maintaining prestige with himself and the same group we both represented. I loved how during one of our arguments he said something along the lines of "Well, if this job fails, Big Lots can simply take you back.". Simply...take me back? They're breathing on my neck right now! Are you kidding me? So you're saying I should take more hits to my resume by having a couple "I was Fired" records if things don't work out? Obviously, he didn't think his plans through even!

    I certainly hope that was the case. Because, I'm convinced through myself that he was just talking out of his ass. The mathematics and the logistics weren't adding up. He cherry picked a day in which he should have known that it took us 3 hours to do truck (2,000 pcs) and the remaining time we had left was well under 45 minutes. I had to help four customers during that time period - which takes time. He couldn't even be firm on what the stocks per hour should be because he jumped from 20 to 30 then mentioned 25 and back to 20. Which is it?! Whatever...I'm just glad I only work 2 days for these fricken people and I'm up to my neck with retail where this could probably be my last time with retail.
  14. Bee4Shine

    Bee4Shine Member

    You mentioned that you didn't think you were qualified to do the job that you went on the interview for.
    Where can you get that experience? If it is something you are passionate about, it would be so glad to see you toss the retail job for something you love. There are so many people out there who need good instruction on databases and how they work, even the "philosophy" behind it. I know your brain is uniquely wired to understand things others don't. That would be so cool.
  15. Cytrix

    Cytrix Active Member

    I believed that I could get that experience by being under the guidance of the friend who pushed me to this position. It was all his idea. I've been a member of his computer club group for eight years. Nobody, including I, didn't learn crap during attendance there. It was just a routine hangout and everytime an idea was proposed to further education by teaching us programming languages and the way of Open Source. It's abandoned in days.

    I do have a passion to be involved with IT. That position though, just wasn't it. I'm more of a Networking/Programming individual. I'd like to believe that it is my specialty because that's what I specified in during high school to study.

    I understand now that my friend is looking out for me in these regards. But I do not appreciate his handling of it at all and I do not appreciate how he underutilized my potential. If anything, he wasted a good portion of my potential when I lead myself to believe I'd learn anything from him at all.
  16. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Cytrix, it sounds like it was a hard time with your computer club colleague.

    He seems to have missed the part where he helps you develop the skills/knowledge he said he would. If I've understood correctly, he then encouraged you with this job interview, for a job where you would need skills that he hasn't taught you (but he thinks you could do it). That's nice and encouraging of him to believe in you...It doesn't take into consideration that maybe YOU would like to KNOW those skills before you take a job. You were the one who was interviewed and you know what the employer would expect. I think deciding on taking or leaving the job is up to you, not up to him. Especially since his reputation at work are not on the line...yours is.

    Work is good - we're productive, earn money, see people, do stuff. You have a job right now. Are you happy there? It sounded as if you did this interview just to appease this computer club person. You're quite right that you don't have to take a job just because someone helped you get an interview.

    Whatever your decision, I'm sure it will be well-thought out. Wishing you well! :)
  17. Cytrix

    Cytrix Active Member

    There's a lot of parts he's missing but that is indeed the one that stands out most. It's apparent from the club members I've spoken to about this, agrees. The type of person who thinks anyone can do a certain job just because he did, that doesn't work well.

    I just felt that if I wasn't properly prepared for this job then I've no justification to proceed with it. I'd only be setting myself up for either a quit or an early termination, in which I don't need of either. Bad enough I'm already feeling like I'm about reaching my current job's boundaries with how they're tolerating me so I'm expected to be terminated at any given weekend right now. Whatever...I guess. I could never hang with Retail and I don't ever expect to. I don't get paid enough to stress myself out and worry about such trivial things like stocking shelves. Everyone I work with has absolutely no trouble doing the job, mainly out of experience and that they have an idea what to do. Me on the other hand, hah, I've got issues no matter how hard I try because it's not my proper profession.

    The interview decided, or rather, the DAY itself decided whether or not I was going to proceed with this job. If this is the kind of shit treatment I'm going to get. This hasty "YOU MUST DO IT! BECAUSE THAT I BELIEVE IN YOU AND DISREGARDING THE LACK OF PROPER TRAINING! I JUST SIMPLY BELIEVE IN YOU!" method of getting me to work. I almost expect a "You're the chosen one" dialogue speech to come to me. Oh wait, when we argued one day, I kinda got that so it has reached a level of ridiculousness to add to the mix. Absolutely disgraceful.

    I'm going to kindly disagree with you on the "Work is good" bit because I'm severely disagreeing with how the job system in this country works. It's like, the minimal hours you have to work with - the damn job expects the world of you to do in the allotted time. I've said it elsewhere and I'll say it here. The idea of work and breaking yourself to do it, is totally not worth it in the long run. If everyone's idea of work is to break yourself until you're old and crippled in the future and all you've got left to wait for is death. Then that means those people don't really want to make a drastic change for civilization and I don't really expect hopes for them to.
  18. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Cytrix, when I said "Work is good" I actually just meant that it's good to have a job so (1) there's money to live on, and (2) so the day is filled with doing something "productive" - even if it's beneath our skill-level. The other thing is that going to a job keeps us in contact with other human beings. When we have a job, we tend to be a little less isolated. The job and the company or the boss might not be a good match, but having work has some good points.

    Sadly, you're right that some employers take advantage of their workers, and there seems little in it for those workers in the long run. Since the employer holds the cards on whether we are employed or fired, we have to go along with the system to some degree - or struggle financially. (I think perhaps if you were able to do something that actually matched your level of skills and your interests, you might find work more rewarding. It must be very frustrating to have so many skills and not be using them right now.)

    I seem to hear a lot these days about people who are "under-employed" given their education, experience, and interests. Some people take a job just to make ends meet, but dedicate the rest of their time to their skill or passion. Sometimes, they're just working the day job until a real career opportunity comes along.

    I am sorry things are not brighter for you at the moment. It's very apparent that you're bright and want to do well. I hope you keep looking for work that you find fulfilling. I hope it all goes well for you! :)