Not going to make it

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by White Dove, Jan 7, 2009.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i am not going to make it till friday :sad:

    I am just not that strong.. i want my mom, i want my brother and there gone :sad: they cant come to me but i want to go to them...Its hitting me hard tonight and all i can do is think of those last words my brother said to me.. he had called me on thanksgiving and said " gobble, gobble gobble, happy turkey day, call me, call me, call me..." he left that message on my answering machine.. and i did call him, but then that sunday around 5 pm i deleted that message and that next morning at 1:30 am he passed away.. why did i delete it? why couldnt i have known it would have been his last message to me. i keep seeing his face, hearing his voice yet he is gone...

    he is gone, gone gone... my brothers gone and i cant take this anymore.. i just cant...he told me he loved me... we were getting along good.. why? why did GOD have to take him from me? why does everyone i love leave me or die???

    its not fair its not fair at all..:sad: i dont want to live.. i dont... i am stupid and all i do is whine and complain.. i cant do anything.. i cant even love anybody because they die or leave me so what is the point in staying here? i cant go through this, i just cant.. why do i have so much heartache? why do i have so much pain? why cant i just love someone and them stay around? why do they leave me? my heart is torn so much..

    mom i miss you i really miss my mom and now my brother is with her, and i want to be with them... i cant stand this pain anymore.. i cant stand the thought of him dead... i dont want him dead i want him back!!!

    its not fair.. its not fair for him to have died.. everytime i love someone, every dang time they die or leave and its not fair,, i need to leave now.. its me that needs to leave...
     
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    so much pain.
    losing loved ones will always hurt, i have no answers for why, maybe its there time in the grand scheme of things, idk.
    all i can say is dove that i doubt your mom or brothers would want you to go to them now, i know life for you doesnt seem worth living but if you were able to ask them then i reckon they would say ' live your life '.

    we only have one hun.

    i wish i had the words to make things better for you, i wish i had the ability to lend you my strength hun.

    all i can say is please dont do this, your worth more than this end.

    be strong
     
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