not gonna make it to 2010

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by palmtrees, Jul 25, 2009.

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  1. palmtrees

    palmtrees Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty sure this will be my last year on earth. I already have plans set in motion to take myself out, maybe on New Year's Eve. Unless something really big changes I'm not sticking around for any more of this bullshit I've been living for the last 10 or so years.

    I've made almost all the changes I can, I'm in the best physical shape since high school, I volunteer, I hang out with friends occasionally, I get enough sleep, nutrition, etc. And still I have no future, no hope. I'd like to move to San Francisco and work at a library there. I'd like to date this girl I know. I'd like to have more money. Guess what? I'm not the one stopping myself with all these things. Some things, a lot of things actually, are out of my control; the economy, timing, hiring. But if you're down everybody assumes it must be your own fault. Sometimes whatever you do yourself just isn't enough, so fuck it.

    I don't understand how so many people can live to be 80 years old, have multiple children, work a shitty job for decades, stay in the same place their whole lives, and still be happy. Of course that's not the way it looks to them but it is to me. I don't see the point of anything. I'm in my mid-20s and I'm tired as hell, I just want to get off the merry-go-round.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your only in your 20s so much time to change your views on life. So much time for things to change in our economy so much time to build relationships
    You are young and anything can happen. Are you on medication for depression or have you thought to get coucilling for you negative outlook on life. Start by thinking god if i am not happy what can i do to make me happy. What do i enjoy doing listening to hanging out with my friends with. You can make things change it can be done just get some help get some support systems in place for yourself. You deserve to be happy so make it so go on medication get therapy do what it takes now to make things change don't wait until your 5os and your worn out do it now take care let us know how you are doing
  3. dontknowfa

    dontknowfa New Member

    I'm feeling similar right now, but you what, before anything hapens, just say fuck it, take up some dutch courage and have a drink, do anything before you do it, i.e ask the girl, and if it all fucks up then you got nothing to lose after that, but don't do anything before trying, otherwise you will have never have known what might have happened.
  4. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi there ..
    i replied 2 your post yestrday .. but i think the server change here lost it somewhere :unsure:

    there was a post here that was also lost .. i cant remember who it was by .. but they suggested that mabye u could try and join the red cross? or some sort of volunteering agency that wud enable u 2 see the world.. and do something meaningful aswel ..

    u sound like u want 2 'break free' and so something really positive with urself.. i really hope u do .. and anytime u fancy a chat .. post here or pm me anytime .. would be good 2 hear from u :hug:
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