not good enough

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Hache, Jan 30, 2009.

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  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    i've never had a gf, never kissed anyone, never even got close, obviously with society and media its a big problem to me, why am i not good enough?? I missed uni today because of anxiety of never getting to be with someone, i pretty much came to uni thinking it would be easier to find love, but it turns out i'm not actually good enough, unattractive personality aside, i'm also ugly and today i had to listen to my friends, my only friends saying they would never go out with a ginger person. I think i am getting suicidle again, who i am isnt good enough, whats the point anymore, not being wanted or accepted is ruining my life and career.
  2. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    You may not feel like believing me right now...

    But these things really do have a way of resolving themselves and falling into place. University was a fresh start and you were hoping for things to instantly change...and didn't. But the fresh start can take hold and gradually work its way to the results you want.

    Also, I'm willing to bet you think you're uglier than you are. But that aside, if that's an on looking your best? Hit the gym? Try some new things. It is still very early in life and the chance is there to find some niches that will work in your favor.
  3. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    i know (almost exactly) how you feel.
    i'm a bit younger than you but being from an all girls school there was a lot of pressure put on relationships and being kissed and all that (with boys i'm sure it's more about sex, but with the girls from my old school it was much more about kissing) and because i hadn't kissed anyone before, i assumed everyone thought i was a freak or something. they didn't, so please don't think people think this way about you. only 21% of people have had sex by the time they go to university (that's just in england i think) and most just find partners there, so just because it's taking you a little longer to get hitched doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
    plus, i'm ginger :biggrin: and i know plenty of ginger guys that have had girlfriends. just because your friends are boring in their pick of girls due to their hair colour, doesn't mean everyone is. okay :smile:
    plus, we're meant to be so much better in bed :wink:
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I think self confidence has a big part in that. From your thread it sounds to me that you have very low self esteem. Women want a self confidant man, kind, gentle, educated, with a positive attitude. Like pensive said try working out and be in the best shape you can be. Keep yourself clean and orderly, and smile. A woman can pick up on a negative male and will avoid you. There are always options you just need to sit back and look at them, find what works for you. You have to love yourself before you try to seek out love from another. Take care!!~Joseph~
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Hache,

    No one is ugly. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

    You will find her :hug: Maybe you are trying too hard? Perhaps just become friends with girls first then see if any progresses from there. Don't give up, you have plenty of time :hug:
  6. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I was all those things, i always smile and joke, no one knows that when i am a lone i become depressed, no one even assumes it. I remember the other year someone said to me "why are you always happy" but what do they know ey

    i'm not 18 just going to uni, i am 21 and this is my 3rd uni:sad: there must be something wrong with me

    i only have 1 male friend:mellow: we dont meet new people anymore so there is no hope of the way i wanted things when i came here

    constant losing and failure has sent me back to depression and suicidle thoughts and harming thoughts and anxiety, its come back, this supposed new life has gone wrong
  7. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    " a man thinketh and so is he......... you don't have to be beautiful or handsome, all you need to be is to be attractive and a good character is more important than looks. Life is not all about looks. Personality you can change. it is sitting down, wallowing in self pity that will eventually kill you and not your looks / personality dude!
  8. RedBall

    RedBall Member

    Hache, I know how you feel as I've been in a similar situation. The way I decided to cope with it is work on myself and try and be who I want to be on my own. I filled my life with friends that would be there for me. I don’t know if that is something you can do or if you think I've given up on love. It's the way that I coped with things so I hope it helps you or lets you know your not alone.
  9. porcelain child

    porcelain child Well-Known Member

    I am sorry you feel this way... no one is ugly... it what people like and dislike... there is someone out there for everyone...

    I am sorry you feel bad... but keep holding..

    I am here if you wanna talk about it..

  10. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    i dont know how to change my personality or even what i need to change about it, i spent a few months not depressed, quite up beat and ok, but since the person i was wasnt good enough i've become depressed again

    i was suicidle in may-ish time, so i decided to change and try and be who i wanted to be, so i left for uni as a way to start again, but i cant become that person anymore, it was never really possible, just a pipe dream that i would be the best, i dont enjoy things, i feel like a failure and i dont know who i want to be anymore, this new chance and opportunity has turned sour quickly.

    thanks :hug:
  11. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    try and focus on your problems and break them down, set yourself aims, try a new approach or outlook on life.
    and try not to worry about girls
    im not a believer in destiny but i do believe every person is suited for other people, no one is alone in that respect, you just need to find the right girl.
    take care :)
  12. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    hun, there are SOOOOOO many others just like you, so don't give up!
    low self-confidence is a huge factor in relationships, so maybe see someone about how to get that up and you'll be fine :) seriously, don't worry too much about it.
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