Well, I have been cut free for nearly 3 months now, buy I want to start again. I have been having serious thoughts. It wouldn't be obvious, and I could pass it off. I mean even me thinking like this is bad. I know SH is bad, it may cost me my job and place at college, my bf and family. I feel like I have lost most of that already. But I need something, some release. Nothing else works. Do I really need this? Yes, and no. I don't know which one is the heaviest. I won't act tonight...just think.