not helping very much

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by litehouse, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. litehouse

    litehouse Member

    I went to one counselor, then walked out because I didn't like the way she was talking to me, telling me I was going to fail at what I was trying to do, being really negative. Plus she was always calling me off hours. It was weird.

    So I went to this other one, and she usually comes out late. So late that the session is like half an hour. So I barely get to talk about what I want to. She tells me to come on time if I want to talk to her, then I come on time, but she starts about fifteen minutes after the time, then quits ten minutes prior to the end. So it's like nothing.

    When we are talking, she keeps telling me to take this medicine. But I've taken it before and it doesn't work. At the hospital we determined that I am not supposed to take antidepressants because they cause problems. She now insists that's what I should do, and not take lithium for the antidepressants. She can't accept the fact that the lithium is prescribed for the antidepressants; she assumes that I have to be bipolar for this to happen, and won't accept the discrepancy.

    Instead of talking to me about my problems, she insists that I take antidepressants. It's like going in circles. I get the feeling that a lot of these counselors are not interested in talking to you about your real problems; they just give you medicine so that you will shut up. They are bored.

    I don't talk to my family at all. If I talk to my mom, I can't say anything. If I say anything, she just says, 'only talk about good or positive things.' After I came back from the hospital, the guy told her that I need someone to talk to, and she cuts me off and interrupts me, so that I'll just tell her what she wants to hear.

    I don't care anymore.

    All I wanted was a boyfriend and a family, but I don't think I'll ever get one. I met someone I like, but he just messages me and doesn't ask me out. By almost forty, if it didn't happen, it prob never will. No one wants to talk to me unless it's what they want to hear or just take drugs that cause problems.

    So I just never say anything. I just never talk or call anyone. In a way I kind like it that way. They aren't interested anyway.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2011
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That doesn't sound too good. :( what crappy counsellors!!
    Ask your doctor to refer you to a new one :)
  3. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    We live in a society of quick fixes this includes many health professionals, doctors and psychiatrists whose default setting is to pathologize their patients and feed them meds.

    I'm sorry your family and your therapists don't seem to be understanding and listen well. I can really get how that would be frustrating. Having an understanding, caring support system that takes the time to listen is certainly a great resource.

    I think you should ask that guy if he wants to get coffee or a bite to eat somewhere with you. Being flirtatious can help if you're not being that way already, tease the guy, throw in some winks or smiley faces and add exclamation marks when you're messaging him. If you're depressed it may be harder to express this and it may not come naturally to you.

    I recommend reaching out a bit more calling your friends to hang out and do things with. I wouldn't expect them to be too caring about your problems unless their really good friends but if you can get out and be more social maybe meet people(men included) it could certainly do you a lot of good.

    Humans can be pretty selfish if someone is going on about their own problems in many cases some people don't want to hear it and may dismiss it as whining or complaining yet they want someone to listen to their problems. Individuals have their own agenda and way too often listening to others problems more then for a very short time isn't even on their radar. This doesn't always mean they don't care or don't want to see you happy, it's just something their not good at especially when they have their own worries. Lots of people run for negativity or problems.

    If you can try to focus more on what you want and put your energy there, not on what you don't have. For example I want a BF it's only a matter of time before some guy see's what gem I really am and someone is really missing out on a great lady versus I only wanted a BF and family it sucks I don't have one. It's only a minor alteration but it can make a fairly significant difference. It's also a lot easier said than done.

    I agree with Inmemoryofyou that you should get a different therapists. There are also many people who will listen to you and try their best to help on this forum including the chat room, don't hesitate to reach out. Best wishes to you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2011