I've be lived for a long time that I'm too far gone. I can't be reached. I can't relate to people around me; family or coworkers. It's become difficult to work. I don't want to talk to patients. I don't want to pretend I care anymore. I don't want to be nice. I've lost my contact with humanity. It's hard for me to feel remorse or happiness for others. As long as I can remember, we I see someone cry or grieve....I smile. Near to a point of laugh. I'm no longer able to pretend I fit in with people. I'm a monster. Some demon given human skin to walk around in. I'm tired of the grey world we live in. There is nothing here. I don't belong here. I've been told I don't belong. I don't understand why I am the way I am...All I know is I wish it had never started, but since it has I just want it to stop. To end. My head throbs, I don't sleep for days, I can't eat...what ever become of quality of life? If I'm miserable, why can't I choose to leave early? Why is it frowned upon? My head gets so loud like a raging ocean, I just want the pain to go away. All I want is silence. I am lost.