not just another goodbye

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Forgetting, Dec 17, 2006.

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  1. Forgetting

    Forgetting Guest

    I still can't be bothered so sign in but I'm sure the mods and/or admins will go and check to see who it is that's writing behind this fake name.

    Because that's what I am. Fake. I am no friend to anyone here, I never have been. I come and go, disappearing for weeks on end, then all of a sudden I decide I want to come back and here I am..untill the next time.

    I'm sorry I'm so worthless.. but in all truth, it doesn't matter because you can't hide the truth. I don't matter.

    I'm so sorry for bringing and worry or fear or sadness or anger or any other emotion in that area to any of you. You have all been so good to me and I've been nothing but a whiny selfish pathetic punk kid.

    I miss talking to so many of you. The time I've spent shuting myself off from almost every single person here has been painful.. not only because of life going on around me.. but the 'life' I had that included all of you. You guys were so nice to me. Like a good sports bra! you never let me down, and you're so supportive!

    :unsure: I won't make this long.. I'm sorry. really can't say it enough..

    I don't think you'll see the sorry likings of me around anymore. but do take care.
     
  2. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I know who you even without checking. You're not worthless, not whiny, nor selfish, nor pathetic. Nor any of the other horrible things your mind says about yourself. And I'll keep telling you that, whether you're listening or not, cos I really believe that you're a good person, and you wont make me think otherwise. I meant what I said the other day, I'm not gonna forget you.

    I wish you would change your mind and come back. Please :cry:
     
  3. Forgetting

    Forgetting Guest

    :(

    pretty sure honestly you're the only one...
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I have no idea who you are and I don't care. Whatever you think you've done wrong or left undone..SO WHAT.

    This is a forum for people in pain, we can't always be nice or do the right thing.

    Come back, new slate and I bet everyone will welcome you with open arms.
     
  5. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    The only one who knows who you are? Maybe, but I know the way you type.

    The only one cares about you and wants you to stay? No way. I can think of a load of people who care about you without even trying. You don't have to come back here if you don't want, you even don't have to ever talk to me again though I'll really really miss you. Just don't do anything to hurt yourself, please hun.
     
  6. Forgetting

    Forgetting Guest

    I do nothing but bad things here. What's the point? what's the point of being here or anywhere if all I do is cause more problems for people when they already have plenty? You can't say that I'm not causing some sort of inconvienence for you even now, the past few weeks.. whether you care or not aside.

    I want to be deleted, banned. Keep me from doing this to anyone. I already feel bad about this. :cry: I'm so messed up.. why.. why oh why can't it be my time? :cry: I'm so sick of crying. Crying alone. I deserve it though. I know I deserve it..


    I know I deserve this pain.. I've created most of it... so I can live it, or be the coward pathetic trash I am and give up, quit. I am a quitter. I've given up on everything that meant something to me. Why not the big picture as well?

    :cry: this hurts so bad.... if I don't do it by my own hand surely this will kill me anywyas...
     
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I know who you are aswell. And I am sorry you feel this way, but you are loved and missed by several people honey. You have nothing to be sorry for, ok? Maybe you need a break from SF... just take your time and pop in from time to time. Hang in there though and I can't disagree anymore than I do about the "worthless" remark.



    Hang in there sweetie, love you and understand. :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  8. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Talking to you is not an inconvienence hun. I like talking to you! What have you done that's so bad? Cos I assure you you've never done anything bad to me. Yeah I've been worried about you, but those are my feelings, you're not responsible for them. You don't deserve to be alone, and you're not, I'm here and I always have time for you, even if you think you don't deserve it. It's my time to do with what I want, and I choose to spend it on you. Cos I think you're worth it, and nothing's gonna make me change my mind.
     
  9. Forgetting

    Forgetting Guest

    I'm sorry Mal. I'm sorry Carolyn.
    Sorry you guys know who I am. And had the misfortune to get to know me. All I ever do to people I care about, or even care about me back, is hurt them and cause them pain.

    In fear anyone else will figure out who I am. I'll shut up.

    Do me a favor and delete this? no point in keeping it up.. I didn't mean to get any attention drawn....

    True.. I am "taking a break" from here, mostly why I won't sign in. Maybe after the holidays. :cry: I just don't know if I can make it till then. I wish I could explain. I do. I owe you guys at least an explanation for the madness... I can't.. not here at least.. probably *shouldn't* anywhere.

    Take care guys.. :cry:
     
  10. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    You're not causing me any hurt or pain hun, honestly. And if you do come back, you don't need to give any explanation unless you want to. All that matters is you're safe. Please do come back hun, or at least keep in touch, let me know you're ok from time to time. You know how to reach me. And you already know I wont delete this thread or any other thread about/by you, so don't even ask. You're too important to just delete like that, and you're too important to forget. Please take care of yourself hun, I'll be thinking about you. And don't forget that I care, and you've never hurt me.
     
  11. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I'm not entirely sure who you are... but I can guess. I hope you realise that none of us here see you as worthless. No one here is worthless. We all care about you heaps and heaps here... please keep yourself safe at least, even if you dont come back. :hug:

    TDM
     
  12. NoRegrets

    NoRegrets Well-Known Member

    Come back, and stay. I'm sure you've caused no one the hurt and pain you think you have, and if you had, this is a place for forgiveness. Forgiveness to ourselves, forgiveness to what caused us this miserable pain, and forgiveness to others. Most importantly forgiveness for the slip ups and mishaps. So please, rethink this.
     
  13. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hun i know who this is, like Mal i can tell by your writing. You are missed by people here including me. We all care so much about you. Us being able to figure out who you are just by your writing shows we know you better than you think. We take the time to 'study' who you are. Would we do that if we didn't care? I certainly care for you alot.

    As Mal said all that matters is that your safe, you owe us know explanation what so ever. People at here have one thing in common regarding you and thats for you to be safe. We want the best for you and for you to be happy and if that means taking a break from SF then thats entirely your decision. Your letting no one down by not being here and you need to stop thinking like that.

    Please take care

    Viks x

    Ps. The thing that gave it away for me was the sports bra comment. Only one person i know that would come out with that lol
     
  14. Forgetting

    Forgetting Guest

    To all those SF members that will read this, who care...

    I'm sorry to those I've hurt, sorry even more to those who take the time and energy to care about me. A few in paricular come to mind. I'm sure you, (they) know who they are. While I'm sorry to them for, in my opinion, wasting their time on me, I'm more than grateful that they did. I know that at age 16 I haven't been the most grateful or thankful to be alive and have the things I do but I am thankful to have all of you behind me holding me up. Regardless of the circumstances. Without your support I can honestly say I would not be even close to where I am today. On the promising road I'm on. Sure I'm still lost confused and hurt but I can keep on going even not knowing where I'm going specifically. Scared, absolutely terrified. But with you there.. it's bearable.

    Having said all that, I guess I'll begin the biggest most sincere apology of this message. I'm sorry that I am so weak in both mind and heart. That I push even you guys away. That I cannot allow myself to accept your support and kindness, that I feel so worthless and pathetic that I don't even deserve it. Even in the worst of a time. More so that ever before I owe you guys an apolgoy.

    Part of me wishes I could change all your minds and feelings towards me to feel the way I do about myself. Because truly thats what I deserve. That same part of me is what makes it possible for me to hide from you guys so easily.. even though it's a fight with the other side of me, and I'm sorry if this isn't making sense.. but I swear I'm trying to get this out. The part of me that wants to be here and let you guys be there for me, just wishing for someone to hold me tight, giving me a hug and telling me it's gonna be ok.. slowly is already dying.. :cry:

    I can't even come from behind this fake name. I'm so worthless and pathetic. PATHETIC.

    :cry: I'm sorry for wasting yoru time.. this letter/message.whatever you wanna call- has only gotten worse and worse as I keep going on.

    I'm sorry
     
  15. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I know who you are too ...

    :hug: :hug:

    You've never wasted my time hun - never.

    You're a great friend to me, and to many others, as has been seen by the response to this thread! And there are many more who haven't seen this thread yet :)

    You take care, stay safe, and know that we're thinking of you :hug:

    Joe
     
  16. Forgetting

    Forgetting Guest

    Thanks Joe.....

    :( I wish I could just allow myself to be here with you guys.... I'ms orry.

    If I never come back, if you never hear from me again. know how much you guys' friendship meant to me. k? please please please remember
     
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