Not just the victim who survives is it?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Mathale, Apr 28, 2008.

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  1. Mathale

    Mathale Well-Known Member

    My mother has had biological and psychological issues for the last 8-10 years, and slowly they have creeped up on her, and now, 8 odd years down the line, the psychological issues and medication she takes are destroying her ( the nhs have prescribed her a total of 14 pills to take a day - I counted!:mad: ) , destroying our family, my dad is in dis pare and my brother and sister.. well they dont care any more and have drawn away from her. She really has lost touch with the family and doesnt show love, but just looks like she is ruined. But deep down i cant see the plead for help and her eyes, theyre empty. She's given up on me and life.

    She is suffering post-traumatic stress , and many years ago was the one to decide to turn the switch off on her dying mother. All of this got to her, and she attempted to kill her self... it failed.

    and then she tried again and again. Shes zombified from all the pills she takes and is very much dilluded to the real world... shes now got suicidal tendencies...

    she tried again this friday... i went out for 20mins asking her to ring insurance to put me on the car.... i came back to ask if she had done it , and she only replied '' i did it again, im sorry, please wait with me for the ambulance, ive just called it ''.... she did, it came in under 4mins.... they had her in the living room and paramedics were to take her quickly... but i told them to wait and told her to ring the insurance to put me on the car. And made her make the call... I have no more emotional effect on her trying to kill herself... and this weekend she was emitted to a psychiatric unit...

    I used to love my mum to bits, i still do... ive tried so desperately to bring her back to life.... but she just wont... and now... the suicide attempts, the mental ward....a deteriorated mother.. i just ... feel emotionless...

    i need to cry, but i just dont want to.

    now, i dont know what to feel, anger? upset? all i do feel is very very very tired.

    Suicide really does F*CK not just the person who does it up. Now im unsure, whats wrong with me? Why dont i feel upset or depression?

    In any normal view... to have ur mother try to kill herself infront of you, and be emitted to the psychiatric unit is not '' normal''. and a big issue....
  2. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. :hug:

    After enduring this stressful situation for so long, the emotionless state has developed as a coping mechanism. In my experience, when there's just too much crap going on in our lives, we tend to shut down in order to face daily life. I guess it's like a computer freezing up when it's been overloaded with information: it freezes to stop further information from coming in and making the situation worse (I’m not a computer whiz, so sorry if that simile makes no sense :smile:).

    Emotional numbing can be helpful in the short-term, but it can result negatively in the long run by inhibiting us from moving on and directly dealing with our emotions. Here's a link to a site that explains some basic coping mechanisms for stress. It's probably stuff you've already heard before and it may seem silly at times in the context of your situation, but it really can help--at least a little.

    Let us know how you're doing. :hug:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't think your lack of reaction to your mothers attempt is all that unusual for what you have been through. Our responses become conditioned to our environment. For you this problem has existed for a long time. You begin to see habits as the normal way to be instead of what they should be. I am sorry your mother has had this struggle for so long and that your family has been so deeply affected by it. Continue to support her as you can, but also make sure you have support in place for yourself. It is not an easy life in any means of the word. Keep lines of communication open with those around you. :hug:
  4. Mathale

    Mathale Well-Known Member

    yeah its been a struggle, but ive seeked help, opening up to someone i can trust, not a shrink or a close friend, so i can still keep strong in their percieved eyes.

    Its just a lot of things which i could do without lol

    cheers guys :)
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