I know sometimes you can some memories flashbacks triggered by many events. I have an abuse history of myself, but I chose to fight my demons, of course it hurts even now, and some scars will never heal up totally. But when I wonder why I’m still here, I just get out for a walk, or listen some music and fall sleep dreaming for a better world.
Many times I don’t feel better the next day, but I just keep up fighting. I been like this since I can remember, and I still here, not sure why, but just give it some more days to take a decision. Maybe someone is going to make you smile in the near future.
What I have learn of my life is that sometimes life sucks, but we can have little times of happiness that feels wonderful, you just have to wait and stand until that times get to you. One thing that I think is that people like us that are suicidal, feels everything more than normal people, including happiness.
Just think about it for some days, relax. If you want to chat, I’m here. We can exchange stories, maybe learn something together.