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Hello everyone, I have been posting for a few days, and Jenny was kind enough to send me over here as I am OLD. LOL Nah, just so joking. Because I am having an awful time with my teenager. Or shall I say was?
Sparing the entire novella of my family I'll just bring in the last part. Highly intelligent girl. I know many parents say that, but I am not educated, and certainly have never, ever bragged about my child. I have my mom for that.
She's in her last year of high school.
In her entire life she was never social. As in I didn't allow her to run the streets. She went to dance lessons, and theater camps. I always had her involved in some activities, and if she did not enjoy them we'd move to something else. So, she was always in the company of kids with the same interests.
CONDESCENDING!!!!!!!!! I'm not so sure a second grader can be condescending, but that started a long path in school where she was virtually isolated from the other kids. They'd be in a group talking about a little Disney film, and my daughter would then say "Well, the original Little mermaid was written by-----, and the Disney version is a butcher job as in..."
She is condescending to me. A few weeks ago she did a paper for school, and said "Mom, can you read this over?" Then she says "Never mind you don't even know who -----was".
Part time job comes along, and now she's meeting new people. She did have a longterm boyfriend who had moved States away. They had plans of going to the sam University, but the kid lived waaaaaay far away. I would against my own judgement take her on the train States away to see this boy. We'd saty at a hotel, and he had awesome parents. They in turn would take them places, and blah, blah. Then came prom boy and all heck broke loose. She was in that whirlwind we all probably knew at one time. She did have sex with him. She feels comfortable enough to share with me these things, and is mature in some ways as in safety, and precautions, but she is not street smart at all. I listened. I gave advice.
Prom boy "dumps" her as my mom puts it. We all probably had that too, and it hurts. Well, she was like Glenn Close on this kid like a fatal attraction. Her saddness turned to anger. She started doing out of charachter things.
EXAMPLE: She WARNED me she had a date. I thought RED FLAG!!!!!!! You are warning me? Well, the night comes when date is supossed to pick her up. It went on and on. He was trying to GET A CAR. Ummm, I live in Philly. Translated that very well can mean somebody is stealing one. Still I trusted her judgement. She looked so beautiful sitting on the steps waiting as this guy called 100 times he's looking for a car. I called my ex husband to come over so he could be of assistance or at least this kid would see a male figure here.
Up my street pulls a brand sanking new I think VIPER. Cherry red. Music BLARING, and it's a convertible. FIVE GUYS. FIVE guys are in the car. They pull around and my daughter says "Oh this is him I'll see you". I knew then something was wrong. The supposed date finally jumped out and came over. I told him get rid of the friends or leave.
O.K. so now my daughter is fuming at me, and my ex LEAVES. The date comes back up the step WITH another guy. I am no prize. I am lower middle class. I never judge people by their appearance, and in fact i was not so good a person at one time myself so I KNOW. I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The big dude comes with the date had been the driver of the car. Which I got the plate number and find out it was stolen. Big guy starts laying on the BS to me as he is a dad, and shows me a picture of a kid. Like why ain't you with your little girl now, dude? Here he was over age, and used the other guy to get my daughter.
Bottom line I said "Only to-----, and you have to walk". It's a littl pizza place we know the owners. Here, these guys. She gave them her number when she was at work. STRANGERS. I found that out later. So, I call her call like a half hour later saying I know she was not in------. She was way down in a bad neighborhood because one of the guys forgot their money.
My ex said let her go. My friend came promptly, and we went to pick her up. We couldn not believe it. She's sitting with eight guys on a step in a drug infested hood where bulletts fly daily.
I use that ONE event to show where her judgement is. She is missing prom boy. I would lay in her room at night while she cried herself to sleep. Find ciggies under her wastecan. Then it's SUICIDE. She knows no other way out. She's going to kill herself. I took her to therapy. The therapist moves. I get her another one and she doesn't like him. We spend four hours at a teaching hospital with a good psych department. Neither of us even would go in there again. So, once again she is now losing her mind.
I got a call from her one girlfriend's mom. Did I know my daughter was suicidal with a plan? My dearest childhood friend and I had these kids together. They were best friends since toddler's now here's number two. She won't speak to her until she gets help. She does not want to feel responsible if she did do something to herself. SUICIDE!!!!!!! Writing to Sylvia Plath it won't be long now in her copy books.
Well, I asked her dad to please stop over and we would discuss this. YES I did also read her diary. YES I know everyone hates that and it's a breech on her privacy. Yes, I would hate it if my mom did that to me, but ya know what? I have people telling me this stuff, and her acting way out of charachter, and seeing signs of self-destruction. What? What's a mom going to do? If I was wrong well I do not care becuse there it was in black and white.
Her dad comes over and says give him the book. It turns into a fiasco with her saying she wants to move. Her father decides to shove my 69 year old mom. We have cop cars all over the place, and my mom has a heart attack.
My daughter for 11 days now has moved over with her dad and his parents.
No phone calls, no nothing. She at least called my mom in the hospital and said she didn't know the ambulance was for her. The best is through this entire thing she is saying "WHERE IS MY Ipod? I WANT MY Ipod." The cop told her get a trashbag and get her clothes and leave. I mean even the cop shook his head that her grandmom was carried out with a heart atack and she wants her Ipod. My mom is now home on SEVEN new medications. Her BP was 301/190 at the hospital.
Seventeen years. This child for seventeen years never even visited with her father's family. The never bothered even to send her a card, and now she is living there. My poor mom wo helped me pay all the private school tuition now says "All that and we won't even see her graduate".
That's not my concern. My concern is if someone writes all about suicide. Talks about it. Loses every single friend they ever had to them having to listen to that am I wrong? I mean should I not have been alarmed?
Now, I have not a clue what she is doing. I am afraid to even talk to her as I know she'll get my mom in the mix. NO STRESS?????????????? Our one mutual friend said as of last night she had another date, and slept with the kid, and he already broke up with her. I mean this is a problem. She says i am the problem. ME. In all honesty me punishing her by taking the cell phone is why she really was angry. Bottom line.
Any thoughts? Help? Insight? I would be grateful and appreciative. If you think it is my fault I will eat it as maybe it is, but never, ever did I treat my mom or grandmom or uncles the way she has. Plus I know if this was reversed I would say "Look you may be angry, but that's your mom, and gram who have done everything for and with you. You probably should go home".
*****As our mutual friend said. She KNOWS she could have sayed here. LIVED HERE. BUT she knows I ain't stupid and would have rules."**** That was a good point. I called her school for the counselor. never heard vack from them. I have to help my mom right now. What to do?
Sparing the entire novella of my family I'll just bring in the last part. Highly intelligent girl. I know many parents say that, but I am not educated, and certainly have never, ever bragged about my child. I have my mom for that.
She's in her last year of high school.
In her entire life she was never social. As in I didn't allow her to run the streets. She went to dance lessons, and theater camps. I always had her involved in some activities, and if she did not enjoy them we'd move to something else. So, she was always in the company of kids with the same interests.
CONDESCENDING!!!!!!!!! I'm not so sure a second grader can be condescending, but that started a long path in school where she was virtually isolated from the other kids. They'd be in a group talking about a little Disney film, and my daughter would then say "Well, the original Little mermaid was written by-----, and the Disney version is a butcher job as in..."
She is condescending to me. A few weeks ago she did a paper for school, and said "Mom, can you read this over?" Then she says "Never mind you don't even know who -----was".
Part time job comes along, and now she's meeting new people. She did have a longterm boyfriend who had moved States away. They had plans of going to the sam University, but the kid lived waaaaaay far away. I would against my own judgement take her on the train States away to see this boy. We'd saty at a hotel, and he had awesome parents. They in turn would take them places, and blah, blah. Then came prom boy and all heck broke loose. She was in that whirlwind we all probably knew at one time. She did have sex with him. She feels comfortable enough to share with me these things, and is mature in some ways as in safety, and precautions, but she is not street smart at all. I listened. I gave advice.
Prom boy "dumps" her as my mom puts it. We all probably had that too, and it hurts. Well, she was like Glenn Close on this kid like a fatal attraction. Her saddness turned to anger. She started doing out of charachter things.
EXAMPLE: She WARNED me she had a date. I thought RED FLAG!!!!!!! You are warning me? Well, the night comes when date is supossed to pick her up. It went on and on. He was trying to GET A CAR. Ummm, I live in Philly. Translated that very well can mean somebody is stealing one. Still I trusted her judgement. She looked so beautiful sitting on the steps waiting as this guy called 100 times he's looking for a car. I called my ex husband to come over so he could be of assistance or at least this kid would see a male figure here.
Up my street pulls a brand sanking new I think VIPER. Cherry red. Music BLARING, and it's a convertible. FIVE GUYS. FIVE guys are in the car. They pull around and my daughter says "Oh this is him I'll see you". I knew then something was wrong. The supposed date finally jumped out and came over. I told him get rid of the friends or leave.
O.K. so now my daughter is fuming at me, and my ex LEAVES. The date comes back up the step WITH another guy. I am no prize. I am lower middle class. I never judge people by their appearance, and in fact i was not so good a person at one time myself so I KNOW. I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The big dude comes with the date had been the driver of the car. Which I got the plate number and find out it was stolen. Big guy starts laying on the BS to me as he is a dad, and shows me a picture of a kid. Like why ain't you with your little girl now, dude? Here he was over age, and used the other guy to get my daughter.
Bottom line I said "Only to-----, and you have to walk". It's a littl pizza place we know the owners. Here, these guys. She gave them her number when she was at work. STRANGERS. I found that out later. So, I call her call like a half hour later saying I know she was not in------. She was way down in a bad neighborhood because one of the guys forgot their money.
My ex said let her go. My friend came promptly, and we went to pick her up. We couldn not believe it. She's sitting with eight guys on a step in a drug infested hood where bulletts fly daily.
I use that ONE event to show where her judgement is. She is missing prom boy. I would lay in her room at night while she cried herself to sleep. Find ciggies under her wastecan. Then it's SUICIDE. She knows no other way out. She's going to kill herself. I took her to therapy. The therapist moves. I get her another one and she doesn't like him. We spend four hours at a teaching hospital with a good psych department. Neither of us even would go in there again. So, once again she is now losing her mind.
I got a call from her one girlfriend's mom. Did I know my daughter was suicidal with a plan? My dearest childhood friend and I had these kids together. They were best friends since toddler's now here's number two. She won't speak to her until she gets help. She does not want to feel responsible if she did do something to herself. SUICIDE!!!!!!! Writing to Sylvia Plath it won't be long now in her copy books.
Well, I asked her dad to please stop over and we would discuss this. YES I did also read her diary. YES I know everyone hates that and it's a breech on her privacy. Yes, I would hate it if my mom did that to me, but ya know what? I have people telling me this stuff, and her acting way out of charachter, and seeing signs of self-destruction. What? What's a mom going to do? If I was wrong well I do not care becuse there it was in black and white.
Her dad comes over and says give him the book. It turns into a fiasco with her saying she wants to move. Her father decides to shove my 69 year old mom. We have cop cars all over the place, and my mom has a heart attack.
My daughter for 11 days now has moved over with her dad and his parents.
No phone calls, no nothing. She at least called my mom in the hospital and said she didn't know the ambulance was for her. The best is through this entire thing she is saying "WHERE IS MY Ipod? I WANT MY Ipod." The cop told her get a trashbag and get her clothes and leave. I mean even the cop shook his head that her grandmom was carried out with a heart atack and she wants her Ipod. My mom is now home on SEVEN new medications. Her BP was 301/190 at the hospital.
Seventeen years. This child for seventeen years never even visited with her father's family. The never bothered even to send her a card, and now she is living there. My poor mom wo helped me pay all the private school tuition now says "All that and we won't even see her graduate".
That's not my concern. My concern is if someone writes all about suicide. Talks about it. Loses every single friend they ever had to them having to listen to that am I wrong? I mean should I not have been alarmed?
Now, I have not a clue what she is doing. I am afraid to even talk to her as I know she'll get my mom in the mix. NO STRESS?????????????? Our one mutual friend said as of last night she had another date, and slept with the kid, and he already broke up with her. I mean this is a problem. She says i am the problem. ME. In all honesty me punishing her by taking the cell phone is why she really was angry. Bottom line.
Any thoughts? Help? Insight? I would be grateful and appreciative. If you think it is my fault I will eat it as maybe it is, but never, ever did I treat my mom or grandmom or uncles the way she has. Plus I know if this was reversed I would say "Look you may be angry, but that's your mom, and gram who have done everything for and with you. You probably should go home".
*****As our mutual friend said. She KNOWS she could have sayed here. LIVED HERE. BUT she knows I ain't stupid and would have rules."**** That was a good point. I called her school for the counselor. never heard vack from them. I have to help my mom right now. What to do?