I am far from normal. I am pretty stable at the moment. But I know a downer will be along soon. Possibly an upper but being as though only get a couple of those a year it's unlikely. I would rather have the upper but no such luck. I have started making plans for July. Although I am not down at the moment I can't take much more of the ups and downs, not knowing what is coming next. I don't want to be a zombie on medication. I am not even sure what medication does for me. I have also come to the realisation that I don't want to stop with the self harm. I don't see my current methods as serious (I wrote more about that in my blog). I can't see the point in stopping. It's something I want to do, it's something that makes me feel good. I have scars. What are a few more? And, I don't cut that often. The last time was Jan. But it's other methods. And that is every day. But, those aren't a problem. So, I have pretty much decided end of July. What is the point in going on with counselling etc now.