Not Normal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, May 18, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I am far from normal.

    I am pretty stable at the moment. But I know a downer will be along soon. Possibly an upper but being as though only get a couple of those a year it's unlikely. I would rather have the upper but no such luck.

    I have started making plans for July. Although I am not down at the moment I can't take much more of the ups and downs, not knowing what is coming next. I don't want to be a zombie on medication. I am not even sure what medication does for me.

    I have also come to the realisation that I don't want to stop with the self harm. I don't see my current methods as serious (I wrote more about that in my blog). I can't see the point in stopping. It's something I want to do, it's something that makes me feel good. I have scars. What are a few more? And, I don't cut that often. The last time was Jan. But it's other methods. And that is every day. But, those aren't a problem.

    So, I have pretty much decided end of July. What is the point in going on with counselling etc now.
  2. *kyle*

    *kyle* Well-Known Member

    ive gone through downs most of the time, i understand the mood swings your not alone, i also self harm, i burn myself with ciggarettes
    do you mind if i ask whats troubleing you?
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just to let you know I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing...glad you are stable now...hope you feelings that a downward spiral is on the way does not come to fruition, and that you continue working and seeing how much you can accomplish there...J
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i hope you do continue with the help with the support that will keep you stable okay hugs to you
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i responded with more detail on yr blog. just wanted to acknowledge that i read your post here, too. i take your self-harm seriously. don't stop seeing sam. i know you are thinking "what's the point" but it IS possible to have a life without self harm. one day you won't need to hurt yourself anymore. i respect that that day is not here for you yet. but don't give up.
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