Not Perfect Enough

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brknsilence, Sep 15, 2015.

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  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Got in an argument with my husband. Apparently from my husband, my dad, and obviously others - I don't respect my husband. Another thing added to how much I am a failure and not perfect for everyone around me. Yes, I want to just die. Maybe then Everyone will be happy where I'm no longer a disappointment
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Respect goes both ways hun don't let others words take you down ok You can only do the best you can hugs
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    can you focus on one example what situation caused your husband to feel like you didn't respect him and work from there? Open communication is the key as no one knows theyre doing something offending to someone else until someone points it out.

    It goes two ways he could have gently broke it to you that his feelings were hurt somehow instead of letting it snowball and blow up.
     
  4. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I told him to make me a list of things on how I can show I respect him. I'm tired of trying to figure it out. I have put my dreams and my life away to please everyone around me even my parents and I'm still messing up!!! My thoughts still isn't right and I been crying all day. Trying my best to be the"Perfect Wife, mother, daughter, etc" but to everyone, I'm not doing good enough job. I'm failing....... failing.... I just want to sleep and not wake up....
     
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi BrknSilence. You are important and I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering. Respect works both ways. Yes, it's easy for everyone to criticise one another but one can take criticism.

    Please refrain from acting upon your feelings as you are important. I know you hurting as you are meeting up to no ones expectation. We are here to live and respect one another. I know you are low but can you define normal.

    Like you I get criticised by everyone and I feel worthless by them all. You here for yourself and needed to be respected for that reason. If you to have a chat then PM me direct and I will help you as much as I can.
     
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    BrknSilence, that sounds rough. *hug* They seem to be blaming you for their own unhappiness. You are trying so hard to be what they want...What do you want, sweetie? What would make you feel good inside? What do you enjoy doing and do well? When we can name things we like and can do, we dont' rely so much on what others think about us.

    No one deserves constant nit-picking and criticism. *hug* You said you've put your life and dreams away for everyone else...Maybe it's time to go after your own dreams.

    I hope things get better for you. Keep us posted.
     
  7. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I spent all day crying off and on. I feel horrible. After my husband got home we talked. Everything is fine, just talked about stuff at the wrong time and also I misunderstood a few things as well - which helped a little on a few things but worse on other things (no ones fault but my own).... I'm still learning a lot and still need improvements.. just frustrating.... I'm okay right now... just a lot going through my head still.... hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...
     
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It good to hear that you are here. I hope the discussion helped but you need to be yourself. There is no need to make improvement for another but to be respectful to one another. I trying not to be horrible to you as you are a human being who is suffering.

    Remember that all humans have faults and no one is perfect. I have many faults. So I say be yourself and do not try others control your feelings and thoughts.

    If I sound horrible then please accept my apology. Please be safe and please seek group therapy.
     
  9. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Glad you are doing better. Remember, no one can please everyone all the time. Please don't expect that of yourself. And please consider the fact that in trying to please everyone else, you a neglecting to do anything to please yourself. And it is important to take time out for yourself so you can be there for others.
     
  10. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I agree with this post. You are the most important thing in the world.
     
  11. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much everyone for being there and everything. I'm okay this morning, I guess. I'm just really tired. Hopefully today will be a better day.
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hope that you had a good day, please keep us updated!
     
  13. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Today wasn't so bad. I'm still feeling down. Thoughts are still there but not as bad as yesterday. Just struggling with a few things.
     
  14. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    It's funny, I can relate to you getting tired of trying to "figure it out" as you put it. Mine says that shit to me a lot too, that I should know him by now and be able to figure out what he wants, thinks, etc. It's like motherfucker I'm sorry that I seem to suck at figuring you out, and maybe you're right, maybe I should know those things, but for some reason it seems to be really difficult for me to know/realize them when you want me to, so how about we just skip the bullshit and you tell me what exactly it is you want and think instead of me trying to read your fucking mind and fail miserably in the process while you just keep getting more and more pissed off. It's like that shit ain't going to get us anywhere no matter how much we go through those motions...

    And if not that then he tells me that I have to figure out how to get better or fix myself on my own. I've been trying to figure that shit out for the past 10 years at least, and still at square one for the most part, so what makes you think if I haven't figured it out by now that I'll have better luck anytime soon? If I do happen to figure it out, you'll be the first to know, but til then, unless you got any ideas I haven't tried yet, don't hold your breath.

    Oh yeah, and also wanted to add that no matter how good of a person you are, someone will always be there to criticize you. Just gotta say fuck you and good day.
     
  15. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're struggling too. Hugs My husband and I had a misunderstanding. We worked it out but there are times we still get on each other. Hugs Here if you want to talk me.
     
  16. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering. Like I say to others you are not alone and need to be treated with respect. We are all individuals and needed to be treated with respect whatever our feelings. All I can say in support for you, just be yourself and if others do not like it then that's their problem. If the world had everyone as perfect then the world would be a peaceful place with no wars or daily struggles. I know it's a wacky thought but we all try our best to please others and not ourselves. It's just like someone said to me last week, we try to please others and not our inner self. If you can find your inner peace first then everything else surround you should be calmer.
     
  17. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I still struggling. Lately I been thinking I'm in everyone's way. Hope this passes soon
     
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Is there anything in particular triggering this today hun?
     
  19. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    We're moving today. The new neighbors who moved in almost a month ago underneath us is already complaining. Just can't wait to get away from these apartments. So exhausted and frustrated. I'm so exhausted. ​
     
  20. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am confused, what are they complaining about?

    You're moving today so deal with it hour by hour and you will be fine. Maybe you just need a chance to cool down. Just a few minutes break. Sorry you are struggling hun :( You will be out of there soon!
     
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