Every night I when I am alone I think about suicide. No, No, No, I am not going to do it. I just think about it. How peaceful it would be to escape all this. I don't know where I'd go but it wouldn't be here. But here's the thing. I am Bipolar and so is one of my daughters. She is 24 and not having much luck with treatment. Here daughter is my eight year old grandaughter. She is a happy, spunky kid. Without me I am afraid my daughter would kill herself and leave behind her daughter. I take my meds and go to therapy. I am enrolled in school and I have a car. I live with a friend. He wants to move away. I can't go because my family needs me. I can't aford to live alone. I don't dare tell my family because there isn't anyone who can help. I feel so much pressure to finish school, help out my Mother with her needs, make sure my middle daugter is ok and care for my grandchild. All this makes me so up and down moody. So I just want to die somedays. I am so stressed. I do't know what will happen to me. I try to do my best, but I am just not strong enough. And if you are reading this and you feel suicidal just remeber that if you do it people who were close to you have a higher chance of killing thereself.