Not quite sure what I'm doing here, but......

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Ambivalent12, Aug 1, 2012.

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  1. Ambivalent12

    Ambivalent12 New Member

    I found this site while researching methods of suicide. Go figure.

    So yeah, my life sucks, a living nightmare, if you will. I don't even have the energy to go into it right now. One of these days I'll post my pathetic sob story.

    I don't have the means to off myself now, nor will I for quite some time considering my circumstances, so what the hell, I joined this board, forum, whatever it is.....

    I almost forgot, hi! I'm new here; blah, blah, blah...........

    (I'm really not a friendly creature by the way; more shy and extremely wary, i.e., socially retarded. These days I've been downright surly, but given the circumstances, it fits.)
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hello Ambivalent12! Welcome to SF! It's fine to be a quiet or shy person here. If/when you're ready to tell us what's happening with you, people will listen and offer you support.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You sound very intelligent very articulate hun and i am glad you are reaching out here for support hugs to you ok
  4. Ambivalent12

    Ambivalent12 New Member

    Thanks. I appreciate the responses. Perhaps if I don't (and I don't) feel heard in my environment, I can find some sort of voice here.
  5. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Sure can hun, here's a GR8 place for finding a voice. :) Welcome :)
  6. notjoyful

    notjoyful New Member

    Hello, I don't know what I'm doing here either. Well, actually I do, but it's taken me a while to get here. I am new and this is at the request of my Dr. This past Tuesday could of very well likely of been my last day on this earthly planet. I woke up in the emergency room and I was mad that I had even woken up! I told the social worker basically what she wanted to hear and was sprung free from the ICU. I didn't really lie and as a rule I don't make it a habit of lying, but I wanted to get out of there and get to my comfort zone--my apartment with my 2 cats. My ex-husband called me and said, "You would destroy that young boy of ours. He loves you and he needs you." I didn't think of that when I attempted, in fact I wasn't thinking of my father or my 6 siblings either. How selfish is that? It's VERY selfish. I would "wreck" them as my psychiatrist says. I was despondent that day--finding out that there is no other way for me to survive financial failure but to file for bankruptcy. I have NEVER been refused a loan in my life. My soon-to-be-ex had fun with the credit cards in my name and the expensive bipolar meds didn't help the situation. He walked out at the end of February (had been planning it for a year) and even though we were supposed to be divorced the first week in May, the saga continues... I have $4000 in legal fees, a son that is devestated from over 5 years of verbal abuse and my car that I owe 7K on decided to blow it's engine. So, I have a car that isn't worth fixing and all these things to content with. The bankruptcy put me over the edge. So, I am here to get myself on the right track and to learn to feel that I AM WORTH IT.
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    To notjoyful
    Hi Honey, so glad you're here, so sorry to hear about your woes..... SF is a gr8 place to find support and perspective and encouragement in a new beginning. I was rescued from an attempt too, and woke up to Dr. saying I had been very "lucky" (but didn't believe him, as was floundering under a pile of stuff likewise)..... but that was 15 years ago and things have come right, so I know they can for others. You are very worth it, hun, you are precious :)
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