I'm not quite sure what to do, and if anything can be done to help me. I feel like I've lost all hope, and that living is a chore that I am forced to complete every day. I get mad that I don't have a choice every day to live or to die, rather that instead of choice we are forced to live, day in and day out, despite the overwhelming and horrible pain. I'm trying to let go, and more than anything in the world, I want to die. I feel upset that I am so cowardly as to not have the courage to kill myself and have it all over with. My friend says that I am not cowardly, but strong, to continue living in the face of immense pain and suffering here on earth, but I disagree. I am forced to live, as every second that I breathe prolongs my suffering for another five seconds. It hurts me to be alive, and I want to end it so badly. I feel that there is no end in sight, and I want to die. But as much as I want this to happen, I feel so guilty for leaving behind my friends and my family. My great friend who has supported me so long, and who I love so so so much, I don't want her to suffer. And I certainly want to make the easiest and least painful choice, whether that is living or dying. I feel caught in the middle with no good way to turn, and I feel like this is the end. I'm hardly holding on. Any help would be greatly appreciated. P.S. I have a therapist, and I'm seeing him tomorrow, but I don't know how I can hold on until then.