So I've been dealing with a really bad breakup for the past month and I feel like I'm losing it all the time. We met on Tinder last year while he was home for a family event (he's in the military and is currently stationed in another country) and didn't get the chance to physically meet until May, but we were in a ldr from the time he left. He's currently in the states until October for classes he has to take for work and I flew out to be with him for the summer before I have to go back to college for the fall. We were so in love with each other and he was my very best friend. He knows all my secrets and all the bad things about me and loved me despite all of them. We talked everyday for hours, couldn't sleep unless we were on the phone or Skype together, we'd even gotten through a three month long deployment and came out the other side. I thought I'd met the person I was meant to be with. I ended up leaving a month early because he couldn't afford to have me out there anymore. He paid for everything, including my plane ticket (which I should clarify that he offered to do and I never asked.) We had issues before I left and he almost sent me home twice before all this. The first time being only two weeks after I arrived. Every time he said he wasn't "feeling it" anymore. The last time it happened I actually packed all my things and he got me a flight for the next morning to send me back. Later that night he changed his mind and said he still was in love with me and didn't want me to leave, so I stayed. I think he's afraid of being hurt, but I'm not sure. He lost his dad to suicide when we was a kid and I just lost my older brother to the same thing last year so I can understand. So we worked things out and everything got a lot better and I felt like I could breathe again when he dropped it on me that I had to leave because of the money issue. I asked him if we were breaking up and he said of course not and that he had been feeling really good about us. However, not even an hour after I got home, he started acting distant. Every time I would call, he would hardly speak, which wasn't like him. He claimed he was stressed about his exams so I gave him some space for a while. Then not even a week after I had been back, he called me and said he couldn't do it anymore and that he'd been feeling the same way he did before. He says he still wants to be friends and I feel like if I pretend to be friends and like I'm okay, I can still have him in my life but it's hurting me so much. He got back on Tinder not even 24 hours after he broke it off with me and I feel awful because I can't even think about looking at other guys. He won't talk about the break up at all. The last and only time we discussed it, he said he loves me but it's "not enough." And that keeps replaying in my head over and over. I don't understand how someone can love someone so much one day and then it not be enough, the next. He said the distance was the problem and that he can't deal with living together through the phone and that he has to choose between being on the phone or hanging out with his friends. Which is something I never made him do. I always told him if he wanted to go out, I had absolutely no problem with it and I meant it. As I said, I'm in school and can't leave until I finish and he's re-enlisted for another four years. We had discussed getting married next year before all this happened and were both really excited about it and now it's all gone. We hardly talk at all now and I miss him so much. I feel abandoned. He doesn't miss me at all and it's driving me crazy. My family doesn't listen to me and I don't have any friends. I go back to school next week and I'm so afraid that this is going to interfere with my grades because I can't focus on anything. I can't sleep and when I do, I have nightmares about him or I wake up every two hours and check my phone for a message from him that I know isn't going to be there. I can't eat. And I can't remember the last time I brushed my hair. I don't know what to do anymore and I hate the physical ache that I feel from missing him. I don't remember the person I was before I met him and I feel like he's taken a big piece of myself away from me. I'm usually not like this when it comes to breakups but I feel so lost without him. I don't feel good enough. I just wish he'd come back so I wouldn't feel so messed up anymore.