Not really sure

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by beforetheworst, May 15, 2009.

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  1. beforetheworst

    beforetheworst Active Member

    So at the moment I'm feeling suicidal but not because I want to escape anything. Things are ok for once at the moment, but all I can think of is dying. I'm so obsessed with it and I can't see any reasons why I shouldn't die.

    It's making me feel good the more I plan it. I've been withdrawing from my support workers so they won't be involved when I do die. I'm trying really hard not to tell anyone. I always feel the urge to talk about it, not because I want someone to help me stop myself but....I don't know really.

    I'm not sure why I'm writing this either............

    sorry
     
  2. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to sf. Most people who end up writing something here do so in order to try and find some help. I've felt just like you describe yourself as being but through talking to people here I've managed to turn things round a bit. I now try and plan for a future rather than putting that energy into planning for an end.The thoughts of ending it all are still there but I'm better at fighting them now. Hope you will be able to do the same.
     
  3. beforetheworst

    beforetheworst Active Member

    Thanks for your message. I am planning for a future that I won't have. It sounds stupid I know. I don't really get any of this...

    I've drunken half a bottle of whisky and am considering whether or not to take the pills tonight or leave it until tomorrow night. Maybe tomorrow night will be better. I don't know.
     
  4. beforetheworst

    beforetheworst Active Member

    I've started a suicide blog lol. Maybe my family will find it and it might help them understand .
     
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