not recovering

[mortdesinos]

I don't even know what I need to recover from, so of course I wouldn't know how. I have enveloped myself in misery for four straight months, but it feels like four years. Nobody can help me, because I can't help myself. I am unable to think of anything I'm proud of, so I have nothing to work off of. I don't have friends who have been there for me in times of need. I am merely an onlooker, at best a floater. I have no will power and don't feel excitement. If I don't begin feeling better soon, I see my two best options as framing my life around drugs, and making a joke out of my life, or ending it. I am afraid to have goals. I am afraid of making mistakes, yet I never succeed. I am afraid to try. I am afraid to fail. I feel trapped in my body and in my mind. I can't look in the mirror for fear of seeing the ugly face that I envision strangers cringing at, and because I am intimidated by seeing someone who I don't know.

 

[}{Feather Pen}{]

:hug:

You know there is no need to give you my words of comfort, as I give them to you nearly every day. It's like, lemons? Lemonaid? Who gives a damn? I hate both. :tongue: But it all gets better. I love you, hun. :wub: I'm always reachable, either by net or my cell.

 

[gentlelady]

You are not a failure. You had some rough times this year. Before that you did experience successes. You told me about them when we spoke earlier. I wish I had kept them so I could show them to you. Please do not chose the path of drugs nor the path of self destruction. You will remember the good times and your successes. Just don't give up. Take care. :hug:

 

[themuffinman]

Send me a pm telling me your age, sex, and favorite things to do/ think about before you became depressed and ill help you get started....