I don't even know what I need to recover from, so of course I wouldn't know how. I have enveloped myself in misery for four straight months, but it feels like four years. Nobody can help me, because I can't help myself. I am unable to think of anything I'm proud of, so I have nothing to work off of. I don't have friends who have been there for me in times of need. I am merely an onlooker, at best a floater. I have no will power and don't feel excitement. If I don't begin feeling better soon, I see my two best options as framing my life around drugs, and making a joke out of my life, or ending it. I am afraid to have goals. I am afraid of making mistakes, yet I never succeed. I am afraid to try. I am afraid to fail. I feel trapped in my body and in my mind. I can't look in the mirror for fear of seeing the ugly face that I envision strangers cringing at, and because I am intimidated by seeing someone who I don't know.