Not safe

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itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#1
I cant even explain how I feel right now. But I know I dont like it. I've tried so hard to hold on. I dont even have a plan really, just time. But deep down this feels like it will be right, more right than anytime that was planned. I posted so much today, trying to fight this feeling and the pain that was dumped on me again. I've run out of ways to stay safe. And I've run out of energy or will to try. I tried calling for help, the Crisis unit, but I just couldn't make them understand. I feel so f*cking alone. Even chat doesn't do it tonight. I keep searching the forums, going to chat, playing arcade, because I know if I leave here, chances are I won't be back. It's not like I want to be dead, but rather I need to be dead. I'm so alone but ready.
 

nagisa

Staff Alumni
#2
I wish there were something I could say, sweet heart.... I haven't been here long but I've read a lot of your posts and you seem to be a very sweet person. Please don't give up!! If you want, you can PM me or add me to MSN or something. I don't know what exactly to tell you, though. But I know I don't want you to go! Please hold on!! *hugs*!!!! I wish I could give you a real hug. :(
 
D

Dave_N

#3
Please hang in there Itmahanh. You're a sweet and caring person and you need to live and enjoy life. You're also very fun to talk to. PM me if you need to talk.
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#4
Sent the kids off to school with big hugs and kisses. Then spent the better part of my morning reading my vents and poetry. It has made me realize just how much suicide is my friend. Even though I recall happy moments since joining SF, they really didn't exist in any of my poems or posts. All of them are crying for help. But no one is able to wipe away my tears. So in the end it's me, my empty house and my friend suicide.
 
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