NOT safe

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lost_child, Jun 22, 2009.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Why do bad things keep happpening, i shouldn't be alive, this is why I should be dead because this is what was gfoing to happen. the moment i turned 30 things got worse. this is why i knew i shouldn't be alive, someone something was trying to tell me to die before I turned 30. last saturday i was raped. this friday in my own houes, 3 men came in and raped me, left but only to come back with 2 other guys and 2 girls and beat me up. the police are involved but i don't want them involved they know where i live and will come back. i'm not safe in the house anymore ewither. i want to die, i want to kill myself, i want to cut and cut and cut until i die from bleeding. i want to die i don't feel safe. i won't ever be safe.
  2. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    The police can't help you if you won't let them. Tell them you don't feel safe at home. Maybe there is somewhere they can place you until it's over. If you let them get away with it, they'll keep doing it. If not to you, then other people.
  3. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend


    Please get help. Of course you don't feel safe! There are safe-houses you can go to. Your local battered-women's shelter would put you up, under these circumstances, if you explain to them. If you know who these assholes are you can have them arrested and at minimum get a restraining order against them. Restraining orders give you further power against them if they try to come around you again.

    THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. This is NEVER EVER EVER the victim's fault, no matter what. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON. You did NOTHING to deserve this.

    They, on the other hand, deserve to live long lives and suffer torturously every moment of them, and remember it all, then burn in hell's lake of fire eternally when their lives are over with.

    You have nothing but my unadulterated empathy. I am so sorry.
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    lost_child :sad:

    i'm so sorry to hear what has happened. what they did was despicable- they tried to kill you and you're right you aren't safe you aren't practically safe at all. you need to get out of that house. like the above people said, go to a shelter, a woman's shelter and tell them what happened.

    do you have any family you can stay with, if that is not a possibility?

    please get out of that house and to somewhere else.

    what is it about the police that you distrust, why don't you want them involved?

    look after yourself and your safety, your practical safety. you could get killed. those people are dangerous and you need to get away.

    if you're vulnerable because of drug ODs then you could also tell your MH team about what is happening.

    i know you want to cut and die and disappear but the more right people involved in this, the more people who knows what is happening, the less likelihood of you getting raped and beaten again, and the more chance that you will find safety, safety from those bastards, and emotional and mental safety too.

    :hug: you must be feeling so terrified and i can't imagine what you're going through. but your house isn't safe and you need to get away from it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2009
  5. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I have spoken to the MH team, and i'm now on high risk, they assigning a sociwal worker to try and keep me safe. thye said the social worker will call soon and help arrange the housing but i can call the womens refufe as they gave me the number. the police keep calling and i've still to call them back as i've just got back from the hospital. i don't feel safe, i won't be sleeping, i brought tablets when i went out,just in case, but not sure why. i feel a mess. my family live over 2 hours away, some further, i've no friends who live closer then an hour and half. i've nobody around here but i have to stay around here becuase of the MH team and everything else. i've no choice, my choices have been taken away, now the only choice is to die, everything else has been taken from me.
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    you do have choices. i'm so glad to hear your reply.

    -please don't take those pills, they might make you less able to keep yourself safe in lots of ways.

    here are your options:
    - you can stay at a local B+B
    - if you have a local women's refuge, they are an option
    - you can stay at your friends and family in the next few days to get away from your house, and although your MH team is in your area, your practical safety/life is so much more important. i hope your family are people you feel safe with.

    i'm assuming you don't know your attackers, if you did , it makes the situation a lot more difficult but i do hope you keep in contact with the police, the women's refuge, your family and your MH team. you have many people out there who will offer you something for your immediate safety.

    if you do stay at your house tonight, don't take any pills (they might make you less alert), keep everything locked (i'm not sure how they got in) and keep your phone nearby, the minute you feel scared call the police.

    i know you feel a mess, i can't imagine what you're going through :sad: but you do need to get away from your house ASAP. and if your family is in a different area, maybe that's a good thing. to get well away from the place where you're at- and if your MH team knows the full situation, i'm sure they can transfer notes to the MH team where your family are at.
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    There are always choices lost_child. I know right now things seem bad, but they wont always seem this bad. You have to try and get through this, cling on to any bit of hope you can. I know you can and will make it through this, even though things seem bleak. :hug:
  8. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I don't know who there are, I am trying to move out, I can't live with my parents for many different reasons, I have my older sister but she doesn't have room, and I've no other family. So I am kinda stuck in the house, i can't go out, everytime I try to my chest gets too tight and i can't breath and i get really and clammy. scared to walk outside my own front door. i have been cutting, and taking tablets that I don't even know how I'm still here. I've not been able to shower because of all the bruises that are evrywhere, and remind me each time, I don't want to touch the body which isn't mine and the thought of using my hands to wash this body just feels too much, and yet i am usually always showering, i do feel dirty and disgusting, i'm in so much pain in my stomach, back, side, and ribs that i feel dead already. i don't know how to get thru this, as much as i try, i am trying.
  9. k2hsharpe

    k2hsharpe Antiquities Friend

    you have enormous strength lost_child
    but this must be such a hard time for you

    I can imagine you feeling dirtied and disgusted, I wish you didn't feel dirty and disgusting - you are neither
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    :hug: you are trying you are, and you have an unimaginable amount of strength. you're surviving. you know it too.

    you know what you're feeling and what you've put how you're feeling into words that are enough to get across how much pain you're in.

    you're not disgusting. they are. but what they did can make you feel so horrible you feel disconnected to your body.

    how you're reacting to this is completely understandable- i have felt the same, but, do talk to the women's refuge, the police and MH team. i can remember you mentioned you saw a counsellor. do you still see this person?
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