I am a 28 year old male. I have been failing my whole life. I don't know wether it was the dirty drugs or depression but I never made it past freshman year. Since then it's been nothing but failed relationships and drug use. I'd fall for anyone who gave me the time of day. Any woman who've I've come close to has always considered me a retarded or an idiot. My friends consider me as a space case on a permanent trip and deal with me trailing off or spacing out. I work, but have no respect and am constantly fucking up. I wake up from dreams of a person I'll never be. I feel retarded. I get lost in my home town I can't seem to learn anything new. Getting up and going to work is so hard. The notion of not having to push through another day is the only that makes me happy. Why can't it be my choice? Why is it so wrong?