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Not so good lately.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twilight, Dec 12, 2006.

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  1. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    I just feel really nervous... like a future is quickly approaching that is awful and worse than the present. I still feel like I should commit suicide. I have always wondered what the world would be like without me in it. I just wrote this kind of pathetic little e-mail to someone and I probably shouldn't have. They shouldn't have to hear about my stupid little problems. :sad: I wish I could say I am feeling better and I wish that everyone on this forum would feel better too.

    It's mostly just a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach... I think it might be more emotional than anything physical though. :ill:

    I might have said I don't regret not killing myself but I don't know if that is true anymore.

    Unfortunately I have met someone that I can't bear the thought of hurting by committing suicide. I would have to do it so he wouldn't find out. If you have been reading my posts you might know the details of who he is.
  2. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    I hate it when no one replies. Sorry but I have to bump up the thread so maybe someone will this time.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry Twilight only just saw it. Trouble is not sure what to say.

    The nervousness, has anything happened recently that might account for it?

    Sometimes the smallest thing can seem huge, especially when depressed or highly anxious.
  4. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    Yes, I am definitely highly anxious and depressed. I am trying not to feel freaked out over everything that is happening right now but I can't help it.

    1. Very worried about not seeing the one person that cares on a regular basis (writing professor). I just feel like I am interrupting his life by asking him to be involved in my life. I just sent him this e-mail that I shouldn't have, basically spilling out all my pathetic problems... I know I shouldn't have because I don't want him to feel sorry for me and I know I can try to fix the problems myself but I have just been feeling so alone lately.

    2. Exams (very stressful). Why aren't I studying enough... I should be right now. I will after this though.

    3. Have to decide where to live next year. I don't even want to think about that now.

    4. Trying to see a therapist because I guess I should. Still trying to set up an appointment with someone

    5. Roommate hates me justifiably. Next one probably will too...

    6. Still have the same old social anxiety
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Well, one day at a time I guess.

    Definetly get the studies done and out the way.

    Moving is right up there with death in the family and divorce for stress, so be as organised as poss to keep stress level manageable.

    Seeing a therapist..TOP PRIORITY get it sorted.

    and Fuck off the room mate. (scuse me french)
  6. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    :laugh: That made me laugh, thanks...

    Well, at least her mom is nice. She sent me some candy, a Christmas card, and some coffee. I was like "Holy shit, even my own mom doesn't send me stuff." (didn't say that out loud, I just thought it) She barely even knows me and she thought to send me some things :smile: . I don't know what to think about the roommate anymore. I give up lol. :unsure:

    Shaking from all the caffeine right now. :nerves: I shouldn't have had so much.
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    No stay off the caffeine..try herbal teas very soothing especially camomile..but it tastes like shit :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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