Not so unusual accidents

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by daredhead, Dec 7, 2008.

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  1. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    I find myself getting hurt a lot. I have had eight casts on my left arm, two casts on my left foot/leg, three casts on my right wrist. I have had to get stitches like seven or eight times. I have spent the night at the hospital several different times for head injuries. I've had several horrible burns and bruises.

    The thing is, now that I've been thinking about it, I think in a way I've been causing it myself. I guess you could say that I was subconsciously harming myself. I take greater risks than others, and I like it when I'm hurt.

    For all of my injuries, it was completely possible that they were accidents, but I am pretty sure at the time they weren't.

    I keep getting hurt with poor decisions.

    Some examples are:
    ~I broke my arm for the first time when I tried to do a cartwheel on a balance beam. Before I did it, I felt I would get hurt, and it made me want to do it more.
    ~About three weeks ago, I had to get twelve stitches in my right forearm because I "accidentally" slashed open my arm with a chopping knife while I was helping out in the kitchen of my aunt's restaurant. I don't think I planned on it, but it didn't really surprise me.
    ~I broke my foot and leg at the same time when I chose to ride a young mare (female horse) who wasn't broke (not ridden). She tried to throw me, but my boot got caught in the stirrup and she dragged me for about a hundred yards before I got free.

    Is it possible for me to be hurting myself intentionally without knowing it?
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Perhaps there is the possibility that you are hurting yourself intentionally on the sub-conscious level whilst your conscious mind isn't aware of this? I can't say really but there is a possibility.
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Sometimes when I'm feeling really blue I'll start doing dangerous behaviors like lying down in the middle of the road while stinking drunk. Or climbing mountains (not drunk :) that would normally make me really uncomfortable.

    It's possible that you're doing the same thing in different ways. Or maybe depression makes you distracted.
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