not socializing anymore...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aldrin, Feb 11, 2012.

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  1. Aldrin

    Aldrin New Member


    I have been avoiding socializing for some time now.......... primarily because I am sick and tired of the same old sh*t people say to me..... criticizing me for being single..... telling me what job i should pursue and how to live my life.......what religion to adhere to... they think they're helping me but they're making it WORSE by chipping off whats left of my self-worth.

    So for some time now I have been a hermit of sorts.......... I only interact with others if it's needed for school/work/sports...... (or if I can get free food....)

    I've always been sort of used to being alone......... but i started really being a loner when i was bullied as a kid........ i was maybe 8 or 9 at the time....... i thought they were my friends but they beat me up and humiliated me....... that was the first traumatic event of my life I suppose and from then on i cloistered myself...........

    What makes it worse is that "normal" people think that loners are weird.........which makes me even more resentful and fearful of socializing. It's like a vicious cycle.......

    I guess my question is........... is socializing still a good thing if it leaves me feeling like crap all the time? Like right now, I just attended a wedding and my Dad humiliated me in front of everyone, implying that I am a failure in life. I guess being criticized by your peers is one thing.........but being put down by your own Dad?! Now that's f*cked up........

    I don't want to be a misanthrope............but i fear i am slowly becoming one......
  2. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    It can be very tough to talk to people after you are hut time and time again... i know where you come from on this standpoint. Being rejected, i often have to take a coupel weeks or sometimes months of alone time to get myself together and pick myself back up. What i have found (at least on sf) is that you will find a few very good friends, a lot of people who are kind, but dont understand you (and that in itself can hurt alot) and then some peoplw ho its better to stay away from. THe trick is to hold on, at least long enough for you to find those few special friends. Then when you want to clam up, you have comeone who you think about befor eyou do.... do i want to go away from them? Its nice to have someone to talk to, who does not judge you, or try to cause you pain or put you down. but someone who cares. Can you try to hold on, and let yourself be open here to search for those friends? Im always here if you want to pm me. i know many others will tell you the same.

    also, i knwo it sounds odd... but i have found the samaritans a very big help with my isolation situation. They talk it out, and try to help, and are absolutely nonjudgemental. I would advise giving them a try if you can, or already havent.

    take care, and please keep trying
  3. Missi

    Missi Member

    I have to say that I know exactly how you feel. I am very much a loner. Even when I do go places- like to work-I keep to myself. I almost feel like I stand out to other people just because I avoid attention. It gets depressing feeling like I can't connect with people. Enough 'friends' have stabbed me in the back for little or no reason that it is hard to break out and even talk to people.

    But I have noticed that the more you actually do reach out, the more people surprise you. In a good way.
  4. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Most people just want to talk about their greats ideas about life and can't hear another's heart.

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