Not suicidal, just angry

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by DRKSHDW, Apr 28, 2015.

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  1. DRKSHDW

    DRKSHDW Member

    Almost posted this on Facebook, but decided instead to delete Facebook, because Facebook and the people that use it literally make me want to kill myself:

    Everyone I've ever met is a liar, coward, or flake. I might like you, but I sure as fuck don't respect you, and I think you're weak. I don't give a shit if you're nice, I don't fucking trust nice. Nice is just a tool people use to take something from you. This is how much fuck you I have in my heart.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 28, 2015
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I feel your pain, I feel very alone. Just fell out with a friend 'cos I realised she was just using me for things. I know there are very good people, even on here so please don't give up.
     
  3. DRKSHDW

    DRKSHDW Member

    They say it's common for people with depression to withdraw and that's dangerous or unhealthy. But I'm not so sure I'm depressed or that my withdrawal from society is unhealthy. People lie to me or let me down or disrespect me constantly. How can I continue associating with people and also respect myself? Doing so only makes me feel ashamed and suicidal. So I'm cutting everyone out, and it hurts me to do so now, but believe in the long run that it will be worth it. I've been alone before, and it was so wonderful, taking pleasures in simple little things without anyone to tell me that other things are more important. I only broke the solitude for foolish reasons, but it's time to go back.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Withdrawing yourself from society is a symptom of depression though, would/have you consulted with a doctor to see if you are depressed. Life sometimes feels so pointless and not worthwhile but ya gotta keep your head above the water and make the good days count more than the bad ones.
     
  5. DRKSHDW

    DRKSHDW Member

    I've been depressed before, and this isn't it. When I was depressed, I didn't like who I was, but now I absolutely love who I am. When I was depressed, everything was empty and I just wanted to be saved, but now I am enjoying deciding what matters and living up to my ideals. It just so happens that I can't engage with everyone AND live up to my ideals/respect myself. I can't associate myself with people who don't respect my time and emotions and feel like I'm respecting myself. I just need a reset.

    There's a hopelessness to depression, but where I am now, hope is irrelevant. I have and cherish who I've become and am becoming, and I know and respect my boundaries, and I believe that's all I need.

    Writing all that out, I'm realizing I might not even belong on this forum, but I don't know anywhere else I can air thoughts like these.
     
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